Little Life
by Sultry Sweet
Summary: When Sara is put in the will of an old friend, she confronts a new friend in order to receive help. Eventually Cath/Sara. May change rating later. That's still undecided.
1. Chapter 1

**_I know, another story. I love to write. Is that a crime? I promise not to let it affect my other stories that I have going, but let me warn you, I doubt I'll ever get back to writing Welcome to Vegas. :( I plan to delete it within the next week, so if you want to read what I had so far or if you have any objections, feel free to tell me. _**

**_Anyway, here's the first chapter of a story I like I've already fallen in love with. :) Enjoy._**

**

* * *

**

My cellphone vibrated on my hip while I bent over the lit, layout room table hard at work on a triple homicide. I wanted to ignore it, but plenty of people needed me for one thing or another throughout the past week. So reluctantly, I snapped the overused device out of its nest and almost rammed it against my ear.

"Sidle,"I bitterly answered.

"Hi, this Jennifer Kellogg. I'm trying to reach Sara Sidle," her calm, soft voice filled me with concern.

"Speaking," I removed the edge from my tone.

"Oh, hi, Ms. Sidle. I'm Temperance Kelly's lawyer. She recently passed away and she left you something in her will. We'll be having a hearing tomorrow to discus it."

I released a breath I didn't realize I'd caged inside my lungs, set my hand on the edge of the table and leaned into it.

"Temperance Kelly? Sh-she died? How?"

"A few months ago she was diagnosed with terminal cancer," she said after a few awkward moments of silence.

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment and fought back tears. Why didn't she tell me? What could she possibly give me? She gave me everything. She saved me from the cruelty of more foster parents... She saved me from myself.

I took a deep breath.

"What time is the hearing?"

"Two 'o' clock."

"City Hall?"

"Meeting Room five."

"Thanks."

"Ms. Sidle..."

"Yes?"

"I'm deeply sorry-"

"It's okay. It's better you don't say anything."

I hung up and gulped. I needed to get back to work. I needed to think about anything other than the information I gathered.

I stared out into the hallway. A clumsy new CSI stumbled round the corner, Nick and Warrick laughed down the hall with a case file and a bag of evidence in Nick's hands and three bags of evidence in Warrick's hands. Grissom walked toward his office, but turned around with a quizzical look and headed toward reception. He asked Judy a question and then made his way back toward his office. Some lab rat fiddled with a new toy and didn't bother to watch where he was going, but everyone who crossed him knew how to stay out of his way.

I took another deep breath, closed my eyes and turned on my heels until I faced the table. Time to get to work.

--

"Sara...Sara," a male voice somewhat coolly called out to me as he shoved me from side to side.

I think I might've groaned and wiped some drool on my sleeve before my eyes cracked open to near darkness.

"Hmm...what happened?"

"You fell asleep in the middle of your case. It's five in the morning," the man, now identified as Grissom, informed me.

That time I definitely groaned and sat up int the chair I apparently dozed off in a few hours ago.

"I thought you stopped working overtime like this," he began to rub my shoulder.

"Yeah, I didn't...but...I don't know. I guess I just...lost track of time," I lied. I knew why I worked so late, why I bent over backwards for the case at hand. But this time it had nothing to do with the case.

Normally, it'd be a domestic violence case I would jump through a number of considerably small hoops to figure out what occurred. This time it was outside, _personal_ forces that reverted me back to my old workaholic self. I wasn't about to talk to my supervisor about my problems. I figured I never would.

"Why don't I take you home. You look beat. I'll be nervous if I let you drive yourself," he faintly smiled.

I forced myself to return the smile and shook my head.

"I'll be fine. I promise I'll call you when I get in so you don't panic."

"Okay," he sighed and nodded. "I can never win with you, can I?"

"No, you definitely can't. And the day you can will be the day that something's seriously wrong."

He lightly laughed and held out a hand. I took it and he pulled me to my feet.

"Thanks."

"Any time," he smiled.

--

Once I stood outside my apartment door, memories cluttered my mind and demanded I think about her.

"_This is Temperance Kelly. She's going to be your new guardian," my social worker informed me as she showed me a picture of the woman she had mentioned. _

_I remained silent and sat with wide eyes, tense shoulders, and my ankles crossed._

"_She's not like the other foster parents you've had. She doesn't have any children and when she herd about you, she wanted to meet you. She's in the next room right now, waiting."_

_I didn't even nod. I was afraid this _Temperance _would hurt me like all the others. Like my father, like my last foster parents, like everyone I've ever met. So I sat still. I didn't appear to want to move._

_My social worker held out her hand and offered a friendly smile. _

"_I promise she's a nice lady."_

_The only thing I could think was: That's what you said about the last one. _

I squeezed my eyes shut for a bit and when I opened them, I shoved my key in the lock and turned it. I was home. I could sleep. I needed to sleep. I had to be at City Hall in about nine hours.

I slipped into something loose that I normally wore as sleepwear and shuffled to my bed. I slid under the cool sheets with a sigh and relaxed as my back hit the mattress. My air conditioning turned on and I hummed into a deep sleep.

_I had no choice but to follow her. If I didn't, she'd force me to me meet Temperance and that would scare me as the rest of my life had. _

_I tried to trip over myself to seem too disturbed to meet, but my worker gently pulled me by my wrist. I bit my lip and stared down at my ratty shoes I'd worn since I was put in the system, which had been three years prior to the involvement of this _Temperance_ character. I hoped her name wasn't deceiving and reflected her personality, but what were the chances? _

_I heard her gasp as I entered the room and out of the corner of my eye, I witnessed her hands rush to cover her mouth. I didn't want to look up. I _wouldn't_ look up._

"_Sara, this is Temperance Kelly," my social worker introduced me though my eyes were still focused on the tattered and torn fabric that was supposed to pass as shoes. _

"_Sara," her light, heavenly voice flowed through the closed space like music from a music box. _

_It was so melodic I had to see who I would have to deal with for however long it would be this time._

_Her delicate face displayed a proud smile and watery eyes. Her hands appeared fragile and soft though they'd seen their fair share of rough work. Her body frame seemed too tiny to do much damage and as much as I wanted to tell myself looks didn't matter because the person could still be a vicious animal inside, I couldn't. There was something about her, something genuine, I couldn't explain. All I knew was that I felt safe as a stared into her impressively green eyes._

_Her hair was lighter than mine; a sort of ash blond. She had it pinned back and out of her face. She had minimal paint spots on her floral dress, which told me she had to make some changes to _something _before she came to see me. I blinked a few times to make sure I wasn't dreaming everything and when I was confident it was all real, I tried to smile. I hadn't smiled since the first day of kindergarten. Now...I was twelve. _

"_Oh, sweetie," Temperance lightly laughed. "There's no need to force anything. Seeing you is enough. You really don't have to smile if you're not comfortable." _

_I slowly nodded and stared back and forth between the two women before me. I didn't know what to do now, but Temperance came prepared._

"_So...when can I take her home? When will she be ready?"_

"_She doesn't have any personal supplies so...you can take her now if you want. All you need to do is sign some papers and you'll be on your way," the social worker smiled at her. _

"_Oh," Temperance frowned. "No personal supplies? Where on _earth _has she been?"_

_She looked at me and crouched down in front of me. _

"_We'll go shopping the second we get out of here, okay?"_

_I nodded yet again and intently observed her every movement, her every word. She was different and I could relax knowing social services finally did their job right. I could let my guard down, but that would take time. I'd learn how to do that later. For the moment, I was going to a place I could actually call home. _

I woke up to the bright, Las Vegas sun. With sleepy eyes, I attempted to read my alarm clock: 1:15. I had forty-five minutes to make the hearing.

I threw the covers onto the other side of the bed and scampered into the bathroom before I yanked on the shower. I rubbed my eyes and looked over myself in the mirror. A lot of work needed to be done if I wanted to look presentable. Thank God for running water, clean clothes, and soap.

After my shower, I wiped a patch of my foggy mirror clean so I could see myself well enough in order to successfully do my hair. I wouldn't do anything fancy with it. I just didn't want it to come out a hornet's nest of a mess when I brushed it.

I brushed my teeth as I would on other any other day and flattened my shirt out with my hands. I sighed as I took that final look before I decided it would have to do because there was no way I could change my entire personality in under twenty minutes. But personality didn't matter. It was a hearing about who got what in a woman's will.

Call me crazy, but I guess I wanted to show Temperance I'd evolved. Plus, I'm sure it had to do with the guilt that controlled me because I hadn't seen her since I left for Vegas four years ago. I'd called her occasionally, but not enough. Not like a daughter should call her mother, not like a granddaughter should call her dying grandmother.

Guilt. Strong, heavy guilt.

I flew into the building and went straight to the front desk.

"Meeting Room five?"

The man behind the desk pointed down the hall to my left.

"Thanks," I breathlessly replied as I rushed into the hall. I counted the room numbers until I reached five and clenched and unclenched my fists. I didn't know what to expect behind that door and I didn't know what to expect the rest of my life to be like after I found out.

I turned the knob and pushed forward. I saw the freshly polished, wooden table and several people grouped around it. A man with a paper at the head of the table looked at me over his glasses, which rested on the bridge of his nose.

"Ms. Sidle, I presume?"

"Yes," I nervously responded.

"Take a seat. I'm Judge Carson. I'll be unveiling you're newly acquired assets," he seemed to announce to the entire group of individuals.

That's when I noticed a little girl at the end of the table with a young woman. Her brunette hair and almost catatonic state reminded me of myself as a child. I wondered why she would be at the hearing due to her age because I was under the impression Temperance had no children other than me. I was her first child and as far as I knew, I was the only one.

She looked to be about eight, but I never was any good with guessing a person's age, especially a child's age.

The young woman said something to her and she nodded with a "Yeah," which allowed me to see her missing tooth behind her left incisor. She was still losing teeth, or it was her last to lose. Her eyes were a dark, chocolaty brown, much darker than mine; a person could get lost in them. I knew I already had.

"We'll start with Ms. Kellogg."

The woman I talked to over the phone, the lawyer. She got something too?

"Jennifer, you've been great throughout everything and I wanted to thank you for being more than an amazing lawyer, but a tremendously incredible friend. In order to do that, I feel you deserve those plates and quilts you adored."

Jennifer smiled with tears in her eyes as she nodded down at the table top. It didn't sound like much, but the plates and quilts meant something to her so I nodded along as I remembered Temperance's ability to touch any person's heart.

"Next, is Josslyn. To my darling Josslyn, I give you all the trinkets you fell in love with the minute you stepped into my home. I also leave you with a special teddy bear I kept a secret from you all those days you came to visit me in the hospital. I figured if I had given it to you sooner, you'd cry and that wasn't how I wanted to go, seeing the pain on your face. You've suffered enough for a lifetime, sweetie. I love you."

I knitted my brows. Josslyn? Who in the world was Josslyn?

Then, the little girl brought her knees to her chest in her chair and rested her chin on top of her knees.

Josslyn.

"And Sara," the judge started. The second I heard my name, my stomach twisted and turned into knots, tight knots, and I braced myself for water-works. "I know you're probably wondering why I didn't tell you about my diagnosis, but believe me when I say it was for your own good. You would've taken time off work, too much time. I couldn't let that happen, not because of me.

You know I trust you with my life and you know I've loved you ever since the moment I set my eyes on you in that office so many years ago. Of course, when you're writing you're will on you're death bed, it feels like yesterday. God, I'm going to miss you.

I'm giving you the house, the rest of my savings, anything you can dig up in that atrocious attic and parental rights over Josslyn."

I froze as the little girl stared at me with wide eyes I was sure would pop out of her head at any minute, but the judge continued.

"I know she's a total stranger to you and she might take some time to warm up to you, but you two are nearly one in the same. If she ever tells you her story, you'll figure out why I wanted you to take her. And don't even think about cursing me because you're no good with kids. I know you, Sara, and I know you'll take great care of Joss."

Still in shock, I turned to face Josslyn and blinked several times as I had when I first saw Temperance. She stared back at me the same way and I was positive we shared the same thought: I'm doomed.

**

* * *

**

**_Thanks for reading. If I can get up to 10 reviews, the next chapter will be up within 24 hours. :D_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Thanks for all the wonderful reviews last chapter. Definitely an ego boost. I read it before school and I wore an almost pernament smile all day. And, as promised, here's chapter 2! :)_**

**

* * *

**

"So...she's really mine to take care of now," I stated more than asked the woman who watched my sign the necessary papers.

"Well, by signing these papers you're saying that you're willing to take care of her...but if you don't think you can provide for her...she'll go back into the system."

I looked outside the room, through the glass windows, at Josslyn. She kicked her feet in front of her on a bench to keep herself occupied. She appeared said, but she hadn't once cried from what I'd seen.

I couldn't put her back in the system. I understood what really went on in a majority of those foster homes. There was no way I'd be the reason her life fell apart again. I owed it, most importantly, to Temperance.

"_So, Sara...what do you like? What ind of clothes should we get you," Temperance asked as we scanned aisles in a clothing store._

_We'd only left the office a half hour before and he already wanted to make me comfortable. _

_I shrugged. I didn't know what I liked._

"_Maybe we could take a look at what they have and whichever ones make you want them so badly you can't live without them, we'll get them," he smiled._

_I nodded, still unable to speak._

_She held her smile as she turned away from me and back at the racks of clothes. Something caught her eye and instead of grabbing me like all the others, she pointed._

_I followed the invisible line of her finger and saw a ton of clothes that were meant to be my size. They all looked amazing. I'd never shopped for myself and I hardly ever got new clothes. I wanted one of each outfit. _

"_Pick out anything from that group."_

_She smiled down at e and when I didn't move, she lightly laughed._

"_It's okay. Anything you want. I promise I'm not a liar."_

_I smiled, this time with less force. It was actually almost natural. _

_Her smile spread. I'd done something she liked. I made someone smile. Usually I was only a burden. I felt something I'd never felt until that moment. I felt like I meant something, that I wasn't worthless, pathetic or any of the other words I was accustomed to have people use to describe me._

_She made me human. _

My pen swiped across the paper on the appropriate line I needed to sign. When my pen stopped, I placed it on the table and collectively sighed. I was officially responsible for Josslyn.

"Congratulations,. She's all yours," the woman that once sat with Josslyn smiled at me as she gathered the pen and paperwork from the table.

I walked out to Josslyn and remembered how Temperance never forced anything _from _me or _on _me. I didn't need to smile. I had to be open and understanding. And I definitely needed to take things slow.

"Hi, Josslyn," I choppily managed to say. "I'm Sara. I don't know...if Temperance talked about me, but-"

"She always talked about you," she calmly responded. "Not in a way I hated. Sometimes I'd even ask her to tell me things about you."

That was one way to throw me off guard.

"You never called her by her first name. Why now?"

"Because...I don't know what you called her."

"TK, like you did. She begged me to use her initials. I asked why and she said it always made her feel extra special. I tried to ask her why you called her that, but she never sad."

I weakly nodded.

"How old are you?"

"Eight and a half. My birthday's in July."

Again I nodded.

"You're not very talkative, are you?"

"I don't want to overwhelm you."

"Overwhelm me. I've had enough silence to last the rest of my childhood and it's all I've heard for the past few moths...ever since TK...got cancer."

She avoided eye contact toward the end of her sentence. She was broken up and pretended to be strong.

"It's okay to, you know. You don't have to put on a show all the time."

"You haven't cried," she defensively shot back. "She made it sound like you two were so close. Like a mother and daughter s_hould _be. So why haven't you cried?"

"I guess I grieve differently than most people. Not to mention, I have you to look after. It's a big task and I need to focus on that if you expect me to be as great a person as TK."

She nodded.

There was a moment between us, an awkward silence, and I feared I would do everything wrong, screw it all up.

"Why didn't you come over for the holidays?"

"That's...really a conversation I'd prefer to have elsewhere."

"Why?"

"Because it's personal, Josslyn. Come on. I'll take you to the house."

"Your house?"

"No, I have an apartment. I'm going to take you to her house...your home."

"We're going back to San Francisco?"

"Wait a minute...you didn't live around here?"

"No! We came here to see you, but we've only been in town since last week. You wouldn't seriously move back there because of me, would you? I can start over. You can't."

I frowned and knitted my brows.

"No...I guess I wouldn't move back. ...Okay, talk about confusing. You all came here, even her lawyer, because of me?"

overhead her talking to someone. She knew she'd be gone soon so she asked to come here as a convenience to you."

"An eavesdropper, huh. I guess I know what to expect."

"Oh, like you ever did. It's what you learn when you're placed in an abusive environment. You should know that."

"Yeah, to figure out if you need to run, to hear where you're next meal is coming from – if there is a next meal – and to know if whoever beats you has a weakness that night."

She nodded.

"Of course I understand. It was also a joke...what I'd said about eavesdropping."

"Oh," she said with a blank stare. "TK and I hadn't reached that far in life lessons."

I laughed.

"It took me a while to pick up on jokes. Don't sweat it."

She smiled.

I sighed.

"Let's talk in the car. Ill take you to my place."

"Are we ever going back to San Francisco?"

"We will. We'll have to, but for now...we'll stay here."

Again she nodded and we fell in sync as we walked to my car.

- -

"How long were you in the system," she asked me inside my apartment.

"Three years. You?"

"Two. It would've been longer if I hadn't tried to run away. I made it to the park and bumped into TK. " Josslyn smiled. "She looked around, one hand on my shoulder, and when she stared down at me, she asked what I was running from. She seemed to know the answer when I gulped. My eyes were the size of saucers. At least that's what she told me later...when her home became my home as.

She asked my name and if I wanted some help. She brought me into social services, asked a bunch of question, and then my foster parents came in. They were angry, but TK was calm. She was _always _so calm.

They talked a lot and when they were done, TK told me I didn't have to run. She said I ''d be gong home with her. Looking back now, she was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was the best day of my life.. I'll never forget it."

I nodded with a smile and told her when I first met Temperance. We had so much to talk about, but I knew we'd get there.

"So...what to you like to eat?"

She shrugged and sat at the counter, one forearm on the countertop, one in her lap.

"I'm a vegetarian."

I smiled.

"Well, that made my life easier."

I walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out some leftovers.

"I'm a vegetarian, too."

A smile stretched across her face.

"Cool."

"I have to ask though, how is someone so young a vegetarian?"

"Once you've been abused, you know how it feels to be a chicken cooped up in a slaughter house, a dog kicked into a corner, a starving kitten... I don't eat meat out of respect. I know where those tortured and neglected animals live."

"Empathy. Nice.... You're incredibly smart for a third grader."

"What can I say? All I had were books to keep me company. No one taught me anything..so I taught myself."

I nodded.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're me when I was younger."

"TK used to laugh when I said certain things. She said it reminded her of you.. She really did miss you."

"I know. I should've come home, but... I wish I had."

We fell into a reminiscent silence and simultaneously sighed.

(2)

_She gently opened one of the double doors that led to the splendid hardwood hall. From the front porch I could see a dinning room table to the left, a kitchen at the far end of the house with a doorway that exposed the island and sink, plus a few cupboards, and a winding staircase to the the right, almost in the middle of a bright common room._

_The sun's rays lit up a majority of the house and my eyes bulged out of the sockets in awe. The place glowed and in it, I saw hope. _

"_It's much better from the inside, dear," I heard Temperance soothingly say over my shoulder._

"_O-o-of course it is," I choked out. I hadn't talked in over four months. _

_She smiled._

"_Glad to hear that amazing voice of yours."_

_My eyes followed her as she crouched down in front of me, still on the front porch._

"_Whatever happened to you, Sara...you can learn to let go here," she warmly said, though her expression read serious._

_I nodded._

"_U-um, do you...have any books," I asked with a sour face in preparation for her to start the abuse all because I had the audacity to ask._

"_Well, I have several...but I'm not sure they'll be anything of interest to you."_

"_Ca-can we...maybe go to the bookstore?"_

"_Of course," she lightly laughed in exclamation. "Maybe tomorrow though. I'm a bit run down from the shopping we did."_

"_Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked for so many-"_

"_No, honey. It has nothing to do with you," she reassured me. "I just haven't shopped in a while so I'm not used to all that walking around anymore."_

"_Oh...okay."_

"_Now, why don't you wash up and I_

_ll fix up as salad or something."_

"_W-w-wash up?"_

"_Oh, the bathroom down here is in the kitchen...well, sort of..._behind _the kitchen. Let me show you," she congenially smiled. _

_I bit my bottom lip and knitted my brows in confusion as she lightly placed her hand on my back. The contact was so light, in fact, that I could hardly feel it._

_She guided me to the bathroom and smiled as I slowly positioned myself in front of the sink._

"_I'll ask you to wash your hands before every meal and expect you to wash your face, brush your hair and teeth, and say goodnight before you go to bed. _

_I know it's a lot to get used to, so I'm going to take things slow. We'll start with washing your hands and hopefully, you're a quick learner, so we can add the other things onto our list of proper etiquette."_

"_Okay," I easily accepted the rules._

"_We'll get along just fine," she widened her smile. _

_A smile crept along my lips and before I knew it, my teeth appeared. _

(2)

"Do you play video games," I asked as I cleaned up after our lunch.

"No."

"Do you want to go to one of the electronic stores and play the games they have on display?"

She thought for a moment.

"Sounds like fun. But I'm not gonna know how to play."

"I won't either...which is the whole point," I wickedly grinned as I dangled my car keys in front of her.

She laughed.

"Okay...let's go," she squealed as we raced to the door.

**

* * *

**

**_Same rule applies: 10 reviews and the next chapter should be up within 24 hours. If you want to up it to 15-20 reviews this chapter, you will get the next chapter even sooner. :D _**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Okay, I'm pretty sure Guitar Hero wasn't out during the fifth season of CSI, but it works for the story. ;) Here's the latest. Enjoy. _**

**

* * *

**

We searched the closest Best Buy for an interesting game display and came across the ultimate game I'd never heard of it, but there were two plastic guitars hooked up to some gaming system I'd also never heard of, so it got my vote.

I looked down at Josslyn, who already had her eyes fixed on me, and we nodded with wide eyes before we rushed over to play.

"Guitar Hero," Josslyn questioned as she pulled one of the plastic guitars away from its support rack.

"Don't ask me. I'm a book worm like you, remember?"

"Okay," she took a relaxing sigh as she appeared to want to conquer the game.

She slung the guitar over her shoulder and I followed her lead as I intently watched her. I knew how regular guitars worked so I didn't need to follow her example, but I did need to pay more attention to her than the game, which is why I fixated on her so much.

She seemed fine, ready to learn the functions of the multicolored buttons. It made me smile.

"Ooh," she pointed at the screen. "If we press the plus button, we can get the 'How to Play' screen."

"Okay...where's _that_ button," I asked as I searched the guitar's layout.

"Ummmmm...here," she pointed to a button toward the bottom of the guitar.

"Of course. They put it so far down there, that hardly anyone can find it."

She laughed.

We read through the digital instructions and nodded as we fingered along the keys as the game allowed us to try playing a few watered down notes of some song.

In no time we were pressing all sorts of buttons on the easy level of the game, which also caused us to "fail" by its standards. Nonetheless, we still laughed and bonded.

By the fifteenth song we tried, we managed to complete seventy-eight percent before we failed. That's when a few people gathered around in wait to play a song or two and we knew it was time to go.

--

When I turned onto my street, I saw flashing red lights as several people crowded around a burning building.

"Oh my God," I mumbled in shock.

"Sara...isn't that your apartment complex?"

"Yeah," I absent-mindedly answered as I blankly stared at the destruction of my things. "All my books...gone."

After a moment, I remembered there was someone else in the car with me.

"It's a good thing I told you to leave your stuff in my trunk," I turned to look Josslyn in the eyes as I attempted to reassure her we'd deal with the situation.

"Where are we supposed to stay? I thought things like this wouldn't happen!"

I feared she'd start to hyperventilate so I turned off the car and skimmed the area for police officers.

"Stay here. I'm going to figure out what happened."

I locked her in the car in case some creep decided to hang around and I jogged up to the first cop I picked out of the herd.

"Excuse me...this is my apartment building. What happened?"

"Some tenant had a gas leak and things got heated," he bluntly stated with his Brass-like humor.

"Do you know when we'll be allowed back in?"

"Probably not for another month."

I guess he didn't like to talk because the information I got out of him wasn't helpful. I could've asked a neighbor and they would've talked a mile a minute in answer to any of my questions.

"Where are we supposed to stay until then?"

"There's a hotel a few blocks from here that said they've got ten rooms available. The rest are gonna have to stay with family," he said with a stone face and spoke in monotone.

"I don't _have _family here," I started to yell. I sighed. "Are those ten rooms full yet?"

"Filled the last one about five minutes ago"

I growled and shook my head before I hastily walked back to my car.

Once inside, I took a deep breath and heard Josslyn pipe up from the backseat.

"What's the damage?"

"I can't afford to go to any other hotel's around here other than the booked one a few minutes away and most of the other ones have casinos in them any way. So...you can't really be in there in the first place. We're going to have to fine some place else."

"But where?"

"I"m not sure TK discussed this with you," I almost lost it. "But in situations like these, adults need time to think. I'm not always going to have an answer for you right away, but I can have one soon if you quiet down. Okay?"

"Sorry," she slouched back against the seat and folded her arms across her chest.

After I played out a few scenarios and found no solution, I had a plan. And like every plan has flaws, so did mine.

--

With only a few hours before work, I struggled to decided on whether or not I wold go. Sure Josslyn was already eight, but it was our first day together and I didn't want to leave her, especially not after what I was about to do.

"Who lives here," Josslyn asked as she stared at the nice house with the steeply inclined driveway.

"A coworker of mine," I left it at that as I tightened my jaw.

I stared at the few rooms with the lights on: the living room, the kitchen, and a room upstairs.

Oh boy.

"Okay, let's go," I commanded as I turned off the car and opened my door.

She nodded, opened her door, and slipped out. We walked up to the front steps. I held my breath as things became overly real for me. But before I could turn back, I reached out and knocked on the door.

After a minute or so, the little one came to the door. She knitted her brows and frowned.

"Why are _you_ here," she asked with a bit of attitude. I knew it was nothing personal. She even treated her own mother that way. She was approaching the teen years. It was completely understandable.

"Uh," I tried to think up an answer, but Lily saved the day.

"Oh, Sara. I'm glad you're here," she smiled. "Catherine's upstairs getting ready for work. Is this the girl?"

She looked down at Josslyn.

I nodded and Lily stepped out of the way to silently invite us inside. I lightly placed my hand on her back and guided her into the foyer like Temperance had done to me.

"If you plan on going in tonight, I can watch her too," she offered.

"Actually, I need to go over a few things, make several calls, and...I just received custody today so...I really don't want to bail on her like that."

"Of course. The more adults the better anyway," she smiled. "Lindsey's a hand full so..."

"Gotcha," I smiled back.

"Mom, I might work late toni-" Catherine stopped mid-sentence on her way down the stairs when she saw Josslyn and me. "What's...going on?"

I forced a smile because bad blood existed between us. I hoped Lily could defuse the situation, but I knew I couldn't put all of the burden on her. That wouldn't be fair.

"Hi," I shyly greeted.

Catherine stared at me like I was an alien and then focused her attention on Josslyn, who had her eyes widely fixed on me.

I knew that meant she silently scolded me, but I had Catherine to deal with at the moment. Josslyn's lecture could wait.

"She called when you were in the shower," Lily started to explain. "Sara's apartment burned down and they needed a place to stay. I assured them I could convince you to let them sleep here.

"Look, I'm not sure how long we'll need a place," I boldly started. "But whatever groceries Joss and I need, I'll get them myself."

"Uh huh," she held out the phrase like she always did when posed with a problem. "Well...I guess you could use the guest room. The girls can share Lindsey's room."

Out of the corner of my eyes, I watched Josslyn look at Lindsey while Lindsey glared at her.

"I have school tomorrow," Lindsey attempted to suppress her anger.

"I know," Catherine pushed back with as much attitude as Lindsey chose to give throughout the entire encounter. She then came back to our conversation. "I'll give you a lift to work to save you some gas, but I'm gonna want to talk to you."

"That's going to have to wait."

She furrowed her brows.

"I'm not going tonight."

"Okay," she exaggerated the word, her expression still confused. "Well, I'm gonna head out. My mom will show show you the guest room and...I guess I'll see you when I get back. Oh, and I'll tell Grissom you're not coming."

She looked at Lindsey and pointed a stern finger.

"Be good."

Within a few seconds, she breezed past everyone and jumped into her SUV.

"She's pleasant," Josslyn facetiously stated.

"Tell me about it," Lindsey absent-mindedly added.

They looked at each other and smiled.

"How old are you," Lindsey asked.

"Eight and a half. You?"

"Ten."

Josslyn nodded.

"You don't sound like an eight year old," Lindsey said as a smile still played across her lips.

"So I've been told."

They shared a light laugh.

"Let me show you my room."

"Okay," Josslyn shrugged before they chipperly ran toward the stairs.

"Nice to see they hit it off so well," Lily smiled.

"Yeah, if only Catherine and I could be like that."

"You could be...if you two would quit being so stubborn. I swear you're like teenagers when it comes to your relationship."

"What all do you know," I incredulously asked.

"She's always ranting about you when she gets home. 'Sara thinks she's invincible' or 'She's just so frustrating' and my favorite, 'How the hell does she know the perfect ways to get under my skin'. It was entertaining at first, but then it was flat out annoying. And then you over the phone with your 'She hates me. I don't know why, but she hates me!' I'm telling you, one conversation and you two would feel entirely different."

"Thanks. Maybe I'll try that sometime," I joked.

"Sara," she warningly said. "Don't make me play the mom card."

I laughed.

"Okay, okay. I'll seriously try to play nice. I can't say the same for her, but-"

I looked up to see Lily make a face, which said, "See what I mean by you two acting like teenager?"

"All right. I'm gonna talk to her. All kidding aside."

"Good," she smile. Do you want to play cards or something?"

"Sure," I smiled. "What game?"

"I know it's not a game young people play, but bridge is actually fun."

"Okay," I laughed. "I don't know how to play, but I'm up for learning."

--

The front door shut loudly enough for me to stir. I'd fallen asleep on the sofa. I could say hello to a stiff neck and back.

I turned to see who closed what door and saw Catherine in a snit. She violently shook her head and tossed things, like her keys, where they seemed to belong, but it made me nervous to see her so frantic.

"Catherine," I asked in my raspy voice.

She jumped and spun around all in one movement and I knitted my brows.

"Geez, Sara. You nearly gave me a heart attack," she whispered so she didn't wake up anyone else.

"Sorry... Where've you been?" Your shift should've ended..." I trailed of to check my cell phone for the time. "Two hours ago."

"Yeah, and I said I might work late. Can I please just get some sleep without you hassling me like my mom? Don't forget why you're even still here in the first place."

I scowled at her.

"I was curious. Sorry if I badgered you."

She sighed and turned on the kitchen light. That's when I noticed the bags under her eyes and the fact that her hair went in almost every direction.

"What's going on Catherine?"

"Nothing," she quickly pushed away from me.

"No, it's not nothing. I know you, Catherine, whether you want that to be true or not. You hardly work overtime. What's up?"

"Nothing, okay?" She started to raise her voice before she headed toward the fridge.

I followed her.

"Listen, I know what it's like to cut yourself off from everyone. It's not fun. If you're trying to protect yourself, you don't need to do that... Not with me."

She grabbed a water bottle and, upon closing the refrigerator door, she spun around to face me with an almost deer-caught-in-headlights stare.

"For so many years I'd done nothing but keep people at a distance. That includes the woman who proved time and time again she didn't want to hurt me."

Crap. Now I was going to cry? What a great way for my emotions to hit me.

I held back the threatening tears and looked at the ground for a few moments to gather myself.

"Don't be as screwed up as me, is all I'm trying to say," I choked out.

She cocked her head to one side and inquisitively stared at me.

"Sara, is there something _you_ want to talk about?"

"Don't change the subject," I nearly begged though I didn't mean to sound weak.

"O-okay. Well," she looked at the microwave clock. "I should be waking Lindsey up for school soon."

"We still need to talk," I blurted out as she walked past me, toward the stairs.

"And we will. ...About that girl."

I watched her retreating back and sighed.

After a few seconds, I headed up the stairs as Catherine had and went straight for Lindsey's room. When I got there, Catherine already stood at her daughter's bedside. I noticed Josslyn out like a light on the floor. She seemed peaceful so I figured that girl could sleep anywhere. At first I laughed that she was able to adjust to any situation, but then I thought she might only be used to awkward things like sleeping on a hard floor because of the abuse she once suffered.

Something in me clicked and before I knew it, I grabbed an extra blanket from Lindsey's bed and draped it over Josslyn.

"Looks like you're already a good mom," Catherine said from the edge of Lindsey's bed, which she then sat on, a hand on Lindsey's arm as I assumed she was about to wake her.

She hadn't smiled, hadn't cried. It seemed she said it plainly out of observation. I needed to know what happened earlier. I needed her to talk.

"Thanks, but...I think parenting is more than throwing a blanket over your kid when they're sleeping."

She briefly smiled.

"It is, but that's the first step. Your maternal instincts have already kicked in. You'll be better than I've ever been."

I sighed.

"I guess it's because I understand her."

"Yeah, which is an incredible thing if you plan on raising a kid."

"It's not what you think, Catherine."

"No? Then what is it?"

"We'll talk about it later. Right now, I'm worried about _you. _What happened?"

She ignored me and smiled down at Lindsey. She almost regretfully started to shake her, but all Lindsey did in response was groan and throw her comforter over her head as she turned on her side.

"Come on, Linds. It's time for school," Catherine laughed.

She stopped her shake-and-wake method and grabbed the pillow from under Lindsey's head. She lightly bopped Lindsey in the face with it and the little girl squirmed.

"Mom!"

Catherine smiled.

"Morning."

I inwardly laughed before my eyes were drawn to Josslyn. My smile widened as she curled further into a ball with a relaxed face. So cute.

Then, a thought occurred to me.

"Hey, you think Joss could use your bed while your gone," I asked Lindsey, my eyes still on Josslyn.

"Sure," she sleepily answered.

"Get dressed," Catherine said without much force, though her authority still had a presence.

She patted Lindsey's hip before the blond rubbed her eyes, sluggishly got out of bed and headed for her closet. She grabbed an outfit at random and I guessed it was because she was too tired to care.

"Linds," Catherine called to her out of itchy curiosity, same as me, as Lindsey tried to make it to the bathroom.

Still inside the bedroom, she turned with barely open eyes and hummed in reply.

"How long did you guys stay up?"

"I don't know. Late... So many Pixie Sticks in so little time."

I couldn't help but laugh at that and neither could Catherine.

Once Lindsey disappeared to the bathroom, I scooped Josslyn into my arms and carried her over to the bed, which Catherine automatically removed herself from when she noticed what I was going to do.

When I laid Joss on the bed, she snuggled her head into the pillow and burrowed herself into the covers. Adorable.

When I turned to the door with a smile, Catherine smiled.

"What," I asked as if I didn't know what I'd done to make her smile.

"Stop lying to yourself. You're gonna be great for Josslyn."

My heart soared and smile spread further across my glowing face.

"Thanks. ...For everything you've done so far."

She nodded.

"Just promise me you won't screw her up like I did with Lindsey," she tossed her head in the direction of the hallway as a way of identifying her daughter.

"You didn't screw her up. She's been through a lot, but she's not screwed up. She's fine, Cat, and I think you know that."

She lightly smiled.

"There are so many things I wish we're different with her life."

"You're not the only one," I guiltily said as I lowered my head.

"If you're talking about Eddie's death...I know you did your best. I couldn't have asked for anything more, Sara."

"But you did. You asked that I find the person responsible and I let you both down."

"No...you didn't. What you did, everything you did, I won't forget it."

I looked up at her with hopeful eyes.

"You tried to get the guy so Lindsey could have closure, you kept me from ruining absolutely everything... You were amazing."

**

* * *

**

**_Again, thanks for all the reviews. I'd love more. :) They always brighten up my day. _**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Sorry if this post didn't come soon enough and for any grammatical errors. Other than that, enjoy this chapter, which was not created with the purpose of copyright infringment. :D_**

**

* * *

**

"Sara," I heard a voice say somewhere beside me. "Sara, it's eleven 'o' clock!"

I'd only closed my eyes for a minute. How could it already be eleven?

"Sara, I'm scared. I don't know the woman downstairs and she makes me nervous," her voice became recognizable.

"Joss, what are you talking about?"

"The woman who owns the house. Your coworker? I don't wanna go downstairs without you and I'm really hungry."

My eyes cracked open and I realized,as Josslyn crouched over me, I'd fallen asleep against Lindsey's bed. Why did I always pick the worst places to sleep in this place? There was a perfectly made up guest room down the hall.

"You're going to have to learn how to trust other people. Plus, Lindsey _is _her daughter. She's not gonna hurt you and Lindsey's proof."

I sat up and winced at the pain from the horrible sleeping positions before I wobbled to my feet.

"Still...I'm not sure I like her."

I laughed.

"I was on the fence for a while myself," I confessed. "But she's got a big heart like TK."

"Really? It didn't look like it earlier."

I kept my smile.

"Come on. Let's get something to eat."

When we got downstairs, I saw Catherine in a white tank top and gray sweatpants.

"Were you planning on hitting the gym today," I asked as I stifled a laugh.

"I didn't feel like getting dressed, but since you two are here, I settled for workout attire. Well, sort of workout attire. Usually I wear shorts if I'm gonna sweat."

I wanted to gulp, but if I took anything sexually, Josslyn would surely catch on. Not something I planned on letting her in on...ever!

"You're not...gonna let yourself go, are you? Because your shape is perfect. I even have a picture of you in the back of my refrigerator to keep the carbs away," I joked.

Catherine laughed, but Josslyn stared back and forth between us like we were too crazy to exist.

"Adults are weird," she said as a personal observation.

I smiled down at her.

"What do you want to eat,"I asked.

She shrugged.

"Are they meat eaters?"

Catherine kitted her brows, smiled, and leaned against the stove behind her.

"Yes, and you could've asked _her_."

"She's your friend," she nonchalantly explained herself.

"Uh, Cat, you got any salad stuff," I asked with a bit of a nervous smile.

She nodded as she stifled more laughter and turned toward her refrigerator.

"We're still going to talk, right," I checked for our standing.

She nodded again as she grabbed a few things for the salad.

"Are you going to help me make it or should I just put stuff out and let you decided what you want...buffet style."

"I'll help you," I said. I looked at Josslyn. "Why don't you read and I'll call you down when it's ready."

"I've already read all the books I have...three times!"

"Uh, if you go into the second room on the left upstairs, I have _Gone with the Wind_ on my nightstand," Catherine offered. "I'm not sure it's the kind of book you'll like, but..."

"It's okay. I'm curious so I'll read it. I'll read anything actually. Except children's books."

Catherine smiled.

I looked back at Josslyn and laughed a little.

"I told you she wouldn't hurt you. She's trusting you with her personal things."

Josslyn nodded at me and turned to smile at Catherine.

"Thank you," Josslyn said.

"You're welcome," Catherine smiled again.

Josslyn fled upstairs and I maneuvered myself around the counter to be closer to my superior.

"So...your story," she asked as she placed a large, glass bowl on the counter.

I opened the bag of lettuce she'd pulled out moments ago.

"Well,"I took a deep breath. "My last legal guardian passed away recently and, at the time, had Joss in her custody. Technically, I'm her older sister, but since I got her in the will, I'm her 'pseudo' mom."

"I'm thinking it's more complex than that," she set a bag of dried cranberries onto the counter.

"Temperance Kelly. After several foster homes, she took me in...and changed my life. She changed Josslyn's as well."

Catherine frowned.

"You were in the system?"

I meekly nodded.

"Why?"

Time for a huge confession.

"Grissom's the only one that knows, but... If you tell _anyone _what I'm about to tell you, I'll never forgive you."

"Of course. As long as you don't tell anyone how scared I am about how I'm raising Lindsey...and what I look like when I wake up....and how I look outside of work..."

"Okay," I laughed. "I get it...wait, is that why you freaked out this morning?"

She hesitantly nodded.

"It's lame, but...there was another case involving the murder of a little girl around Lindsey's age."

"It's not lame. She's your world. You'd give anything to keep her safe. That's partly why I was in the system."

She furrowed her brows.

"My...my father was a drunk. He used to beat my mother...and when that wasn't enough...he'd...he'd beat _me_. After a while, my mother couldn't take it anymore and she snapped. Stabbed him several times. She never went to jail, but she did get placed in a mental hospital."

"Oh, Sara," she stopped all movement and looked at me with sympathetic eyes. "That's why all those domestic violence cases hit you hard."

I nodded.

"And...when you said you understand Josslyn..."

"I don't know everything yet, but I know that she ran away from her foster parents when she was six and Temperance took her in like she took me in. ...Trust...doesn't come easy for us."

"And yet...you trust me with this information," she appeared pale and unable to stand. "That's..."

"Huge? ...Yeah. If you ask me...I'm not sure what it is about you... I don't know," I caught myself before I got too personal. "Maybe your mom had something to do with it."

"My mom?" Her pale complexion brightened until her checks displayed full color. She wanted to laugh. "What does she have anything to do with this?"

"She told me we'd get along a lot better if we'd actually sit down and have a conversation."

"So...what? Are you two friends now?"

"I guess. I mean, I'd only met her once before I called here and talked to her. She came to the lab looking for you and told me to give you a message. We'd had a brief conversation so I suppose that's at least half the reason we get along."

"You didn't tell me she was looking for me! When was this?"

"Some time ago. It didn't matter though because she ran into you on her way out. I figured I was off the hook in telling you she was there."

"Oh. ...Wow! My mom had a talk with you. I mean...a serious talk. About our friendship nonetheless. ...She's crazy."

She and I shared a laugh.

"She's quite the character," I admitted. "She even taught me how to play bridge."

"And you let her?"

"I didn't have anything better to do, I didn't want to be rude, and...I really like learning new things."

"Really?"

I studiously nodded.

"What are the chances I can teach you how to be sociable?"

I smiled.

"I'll try...but I can't guarantee anything."

"Putting forth your best effort is all I need," she continued to smile.

"Okay," I followed her example. "But for now, we make this salad."

--

"I'm gonna pick up Linds," Catherine announced as Josslyn and I relaxed in front of the television. "When I get back, I'm going to work."

"Don't you have some days off coming up?"

"It was supposed to be tonight and Friday, but...I made Greg trade me. Now I have Friday and _Saturday _off."

I frowned.

"Okay."

"What?"

"Nothing. Go get Lindsey or she'll think you forgot about her."

"You can't seriously be upset because I'm going to work, can you?"

Great, it turned into a shouting match.

"You're going to spend the weekend with your daughter. That's good. Switching days on short notice-?"

"How are you going to support Josslyn if you stay here all day and all night? You're headed for unemployment and then what? You can't just crash on my couch and expect me to pay for everything!"

"Hey," Josslyn yelled over us as she stood on one of the couches. "What is this? We've been here less than a week and already the tension is massive? You guys need to chill! I've never seen two people argue with such stupidity."

She jumped off the couch in a fit and walked past us to the stairs.

Crap.

I threw my head back and purposely hit it against the arm of the couch before I flung myself off it. I rushed to catch up to Josslyn. I knew I had to fix things.

"Joss..Josslyn!"

I lightly grabbed her by the arm and half turned her toward me, but she kept her eyes bitterly focused on the ground.

"Hey, I'm sorry. Catherine and I are extremely moody people...at least...when we're together. I didn't mean to shout like that. Can you forgive me?"

She sighed and looked at me.

"Yes...I forgive you. ...But next time, could you think before you jump all over her?"

"I promise... When did you become the adult?"

"When I decided it was time to take charge around here," she joked. "I'm gonna go read that book Catherine suggested. It's really interesting. People get so crazy in love sometimes."

I smiled.

"Okay. Are you sure you don't want to watch a little more T.V.?"

"Books can be easily described as my cable. I'm good."

"I let her go and watched her walk up the stairs. I sighed and turned on my heels before I walked back toward the living room.

"Is she okay," Catherine asked out of genuine concern.

"She'll be fine. We were out of control, she fixed it. No big deal."

"I'd like to think it is, Sara. Why are we always fighting?"

"Because you always take the things I say wrongly and that gets on my nerves," I bluntly, nonchalantly stated.

"I'm serious."

"So am I. That's how it starts. Why we jump into the fights so frequently is beyond me."

She sighed.

"What?"

"Nothing," she sorrowfully answered.

"Catherine," I warningly stated. "Something's bothering you again. If you're going to be so difficult to get through to, I might just give up."

She bit her lip.

"It's complicated."

"Then go pick up Lindsey."

She looked up from the ground and locked eyes with me.

"I'll still be here when you get back."

She smiled with new found hope. Something fishy was going on and I was going to get to the bottom of it.

--

"From here I'm basically going to work, Catherine said as Lindsey scampered inside in what I assumed to be a search for Josslyn.

"Okay," I nodded as I popped some popcorn in my mouth and relaxed on the couch.

"Are you okay to watch the girls?"

"Are you coming home after shift?"

When you sit and wait for at least twenty minutes, it gives you more time than necessary to think. I spent that time thinking about the situation with Catherine not being around for Lindsey.

She sighed.

"I don't care what you think, you're going in with me tomorrow."

"No! Josslyn needs me and I'm not going to leave her with people she's uncomfortable with."

"She warmed up to me."

"Barely. Besides, it'll be Lily that watches them and I don't know what Joss thinks of her."

Again, she sighed.

"Fine. ...Could you at least be nice to me while you're here?"

My brow arched and I felt more than compelled to look her straight in the face to make sure I hear her correctly.

"Catherine? What's going on? You never ask me anything, you demand it. Fess up...now!"

"We can talk about this la-"

"No, we can't talk about this later. We're going to talk about it now."

"Why are you so aggressive and...stubborn," she asked as she violently threw her keys on their respective end table and stepped closer to the couch.

I figured I should've stood up at that point in the argument so I followed her example and started to meet her halfway in terms of geography.

"I'm aggressive because you're too passive for the _both _of us and I'm stubborn because that's part of my personality."

She and I slugged closer to each other.

"How about the fact that when I leave for work you're always on my case?"

"That has nothing to do with why you've acted completely friendly since we got here!"

"You'd _rather _I treat you poorly? Fine! You're so screwed up, I can't believe I'm going to act as your enabler."

With both of us seething, I feared it didn't stop me from further approach. We were toe to toe.

"I never said I didn't want you to be friendly! I only confronted you about it because it's not like you."

"So that automatically means something's going on with me?"

"I guess that's what I'm saying."

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I don't know..._you_!"

"If you really _didn't _like me, you wouldn't be here!"

"Oh, please. This was the only option I had."

"You could've found the money. If Josslyn's already as important to you as you've made it clear, you could've gotten the money for a hotel."

I could feel her breath punch my lips as I stared deep into those fiery, sapphire eyes. My blood boiled and my fists coiled. We were closer than we'd ever been.

"I'm short on rent nearly every month. I'm constantly maxed out on overtime and I have plenty of vacation days stocked up! So...excuse me for not being Grissom's best friend."

"What? Please, you're like the teacher's pet around him. He'd do more for you than anyone else in the lab. Rumor has it, the two of you are sleeping together! Why don't you run to his place and crash?"

"I'm not sleeping with him!"

"How would any of us know when you've got him in your pocket?"

"Because the only person I want to sleep with is you!"

After my confession, our lips crashed together like a wave coming into the shore. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end and her hand came to clutch my hair.

A shiver shot down my spine and I'm almost positive I moaned into our passionate kiss.

* * *

**_A little background about me: I lost my grandma on Tuesday so I'm not sure when I'll post again. I'm hoping soon, but things are up in the air as far as scheduling. I also mention this bit of information because I could really use some reviews to cheer me up. So...if you're kind enough...please send a review? _**

**_Thank you. _**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Sorry if there are mistakes, but at the time I typed this out/copyed it from notebook to computer, I was on the phone with my friend trying to help her with an assignment. Enojoy.**_

Suddenly, her tongue swiftly jabbed itself into my mouth and my hands sprung to her waist as I wished her so close there would be no room for second thoughts.

For a moment, the world made sense. I had the woman of my dreams in my arms. I didn't have to go to work, but _she _did and yet, she stayed fuzed to me in our breathless bond.

But abruptly, she tore herself away and I felt awkward, sick to my stomach even. I hesitated to open my eyes.

"We...this," she couldn't even form a sentence. "It can't happen."

With that, she bolted.

Oddly enough, my heart felt ten times heavier as it sank in my chest and slowed its beating. The air felt cold and my surroundings stark. I didn't want to be there if the possibility of Catherine and I didn't exist. Talk about being in a pickle. 

"Right foot yellow," I announced to the girls for the third time that night.

I never knew until then how repetitive the game Twister could get.

The girls laughed as they attempted to stretch their bodies to the command when the door was ripped open and slammed shut.

"Girls, you can spin the spinner yourself, can't you," I asked as I dropped the spinner on the floor in front of them.

I followed the hurricane of trouble up the stairs and into Catherine's room. I laced my fingers and carefully stepped over the threshold.

"Catherine? What are you doing home so soon?"

She sniffled in front of the mirror.

"Grissom pulled me off this case," she sobbed.

"Couldn't you work another case?"

"He figured I needed more time with Linds. ...Oh, god. That little girl... She was so small."

"The girl in case," I stated in my efforts to completely understand her.

She nodded.

I closed my eyes as if to silently say "duh!". After that little moment, I opened my eyes and stepped further inside the room and almost immediately stood behind her. I left space considering what had happened with our kiss earlier, but I stayed close enough to make her understand I was there for her.

"You _should _spend time with Lindsey. I wanted to tell you before, but you wouldn't listen."

I didn't want to upset her more, but I needed her to understand there could never be anything more important that her daughter. Deep down I knew that was the truth in her heart, but sometimes I think she desired an escape.

"I need something more. Don't get me wrong," she started. "She's my life, but that's the problem. That leaves hardly any room for human contact."

She swayed backward into my arms and I felt at peace with myself, the world, and I could smell the sweet scent of Catherine's pleasuring body.

"You might just be tense. Want me to rub your shoulders?"

She purred in approval and my hands mindlessly placed themselves on either side of her neck. My finger kneaded at her rigid skin and pressed into her tight muscles.

"That better?"

"Mhmm," she moaned as she rolled her head side to side to help me loosen her up.

"About what happened-"

"Don't," she sprang into alertness. I felt her go tense all over again.

I sighed.

"What did it mean? Did you want to kiss me or was it a mistake? We need to talk about it!"

She sighed.

"Sara, I didn't... I want to, but-"

I spun her around to face me.

"Then what's holding you back?"

"It's...I'm..." she pushed away from the vanity she found herself at when she walked into the room. I knew that was her way to push away from _me_.

"How can everyone say I'm the distant CSI and not notice how isolated _you _are?"

She amazed me. Here I thought I'd been dealing with this warm and mostly bubbly, in her own way, strawberry blonde. Instead, the second your fingertips tapped her overheated skin, she sprinted toward the nearest exit sign.

"I told you...I want to...kiss you," she struggled to confess. "I just...I don I don't think I can."

"Of course you can, Catherine. You already have," I lightly laughed.

"No, I men...there's so much going on and Lindsey is my number one concern right now. I'm not sure how she'd retake it if she knew I was going to date a woman. And Josslyn's _your _concern. Everything you know about her...do you really think she needs to see you with me romantically? We don't even know if it'd work out between us."

Crap. She had a point. A good point.

"Since when do you care about whether or not whatever we may or may not have will last? Did you ever put Lindsey first when you dated Chris or that construction guy or in any of the choices you made with and about Eddie _after _the divorce?"

"That's my point," she strongly sighed, passion still behind her words. "I was selfish then, but now...things are different. If anything, you're the one who thought me that."

I scrunched my eyebrows. This, whatever was going on with her and I, was happening too fast. Josslyn and I had been over for one night. How the hell could my relationship with Catherine have come to this so quickly?

"Right. I understand. Why don't I give you some space and I'll check on the girls."

"They're still up? It's going on eleven!"

"relax. Lindsey has a half day tomorrow at school and she's supposed to be watching movies in whatever classes she _does _have. And I figured after that, I'd look into enrollment options for Joss."

"The half day...Friday. I completely forgot. How'd you know?"

"She told Joss when they came down to play Twister."

My phone buzzed in my front pocket.

"Oh, that's probably the funeral home director."

She furrowed her brow.

"I called them about twenty minutes after you left," I explained as I pulled out my cell.

She half nodded wit a bewildered expression on her face. I knew she probably thought all the arrangements I decided to make were out of the blue, but I needed to be on top of things. I'd spent enough quality time with Josslyn for starters, but now I needed to focus on everything else. Plus, Lindsey served as a great distraction to her and that left me with enough space and time to figure out the rest of things.

I flipped open the phone and put it to my ear.

"Hello? ...Oh, hey, Patrick.. Yeah, I was expecting your call... I don't know if we could make it out there. I know we have to get back, but time isn't completely on our side... This weekend? ...I don't know. We could try... I'm at a coworker's house... Yeah, she's great. Perfect I didn't know who else to fo to and she has a daughter. Perfect for Joss... Social Services? I figured they'd check up on me. They haven't yet. I'm glad too. After the apartment caught fire... No, not _my _apartment per se. My building... Yeah, one of the neighbors had a gas leak."

I looked over at Catherine and briefly studied her continuously confused features. It put a smile on my face.

"So...next week? I'll see what we're looking at... That'd be great, but that's not the issue. Well, it's going to be an issue if I don't get back to work."

Catherine headed toward the door and I assumed she was going to check on the girls. I finished my conversation and followed Catherine into Lindsey's room. She and Josslyn giggled and Catherine laughed at their behavior. I smiled.

"Maybe you two should go to sleep now," I suggested.

"Okay," Lindsey said.

Josslyn sat and stared at me. I cocked my head to the side.

"What's wrong?"

She didn't say anything, but she got up and walked out to Catherine's room.

I furrowed my brow and followed her. Catherine stayed with Lindsey.

"Joss?"

I looked into the room and saw Josslyn sitting on the edge of Catherine's bed.

"Can I sleep here," she asked.

"In Catherine's room? We can share the guest room."

"I like it here. It's warm and lived in. It makes me feel safe... Like TK's still here."

I cringed, afraid to hurt her feelings.

"I don't think Catherine would like that."

She frowned and all the hope in her eyes flickered out like a light. Now I was a hope crusher. Great.

"Lindsey says I should talk to Josslyn," Catherine appeared in the doorway with a bewildered expression.

Josslyn curled up on the bed. She seemed comfortable, but tense. She must've figured Catherine would kick her out and make things even worse.

"She wants to sleep here. She likes this room."

"Oh," Catherine answered with a thrown look on her face. "Where would you sleep, Sara? With her or in the guest room?"

"I want her to stay with me," Josslyn timidly spoke up.

"Okay, I'll take over the guest room then."

"Really? It wouldn't be too much? This is _your _house."

"I know, but if she's happy here, she can stay here."

"No!"

Catherine and I looked at Josslyn.

"I mean...you can both stay here!"

"I'm not sure-" I started, but she cut me short.

"I know it sounds weird and out of left field, but...it's the most normal thing I'll experience since TK. I want to feel like a family."

I sighed.. Looking to Catherine, hoped she'd be okay with it.

"As long a you don't mind," she directed at me as though she were a prayer answerer.

I turned to Josslyn and smiled. She smiled back. Everything she asked for, she received. We were going to give her the world. That sounded extremely strange. Even in _my_ thoughts.

"I guess it's settled then," I said. "why don't you get comfortable and I'll get us some popcorn or something,"

"Popcorn," Catherine incredulously asked.

"Mhmm. TK used to give me snacks before bed and she'd stay with me until I fell asleep. I assume she did the same for her," I motioned to Josslyn on the bed as I informed Catherine.

Josslyn nodded.

"Well, okay," Catherine willingly accepted the information.

I gave half a nod and took off for the kitchen. I grabbed a handful of mini Gatorades out of the fridge and headed back into Catherine's room.

Upon my return, Catherine had disappeared into the master bath and Josslyn had curled up in a sitting ball between the two sides of the bed.

"Comfy," I asked with a bright smile.

She smiled back just as wide and nodded.

"i know it's not TK's famous hot chocolate, but I thought it'd be better if I didn't take too long to get back up here," I smiled as I handed her a Gatorade.

I set one drink on the nightstand and cracked the top off the last one. I rolled onto the side of the bed I assumed I would sleep on and took a sip of my drink. Seconds later, Catherine emerged from the bathroom in attractively loose, white sweatpants and a navy blue T-shirt that made her breasts seem as flat as her taut stomach. The laid back look worked in her favor.

"Looking good," I joked.

Josslyn gave a small giggle beside me.

"Yeah, yeah," she carelessly flung a hand at me by way of dismissal.

She walked around the bed to her side and plopped down before she squirmed in between the sheets.

"You're sure you wanna be between us," she asked Josslyn.

She nodded.

"Thanks."

Catherine's brows shot up as she frowned a smiled. I looked as surprised as she did.

"Wow. That's new," I said.

"What," she started to defend herself. "She's been nice. She didn't have to let us stay here."

I slowly nodded.

"TK did a great job taking care of you, didn't she," I asked.

"Yeah," she sadly said. "She took me in and every day after that I always got a non-threatening hug and smiled that didn't mean anything more than I love you."

I pulled her close to me and rubbed her arm opposite me.

"She's watching over you though. She's always protecting you as if she was still here with us."

I could see Catherine smile beside Josslyn and me. She looked fully relaxed and happy to watch me in parenting action.

Josslyn sighed and the room door opened to Lindsey.

"Can I sleep here too? It's lonely in my room."

The three of us smiled and Catherine waved her daughter into the room.

The tiny blonde let go of the knob ad left the door wide open as she walked over to her mom.

"Did I miss anything," she asked as she climbed over Catherine to get to Josslyn.

Catherine and I laughed and the girls smiled at each other before they snuggled into sleeping positions. I noticed Catherine bite her lip to suppress her smile.

I silently questioned her mischievous expression and she demonstrated what she wanted to do. Her hand connected with Lindsey's back and smoothly ran up and down her spine. I immediately saw the change in Lindsey. Her eyes started to flutter shut and I smiled at Catherine.

I put my hand no Josslyn's back and followed in Catherine's rhythmic footsteps. They drifted into sleep after a minute or two and that left Catherine and me to stare at each other.

I threw my head in the direction of the door and Catherine eased out of bed in response. We reached the hall and shut the door behind us.

"I know it's not the same thing, but...maybe they won't be as freaked out about us as you think," I exclaimed.

"Yeah, but we should take our time with this. You have to go back to San Francisco for a _funeral_.I don't want to seem cold and disrespectful."

"I get it, no worries, but can I at least get a goodnight kiss," I grinned. "We are sleeping together after all."

She lightly laughed and shook her head.

"Where do you want it," she asked.

"I have a choice?"

She slyly grinned and place a quick, chaste kiss on my lips.

"Uh," I felt weak in the knees. "I wanted it on my neck."

"Uh huh," she disbelievingly said, a grin still plastered on her face.

She moved in on me again and gave me a slow, wet kiss on my pulse point. For a moment, she sucked on it and I shivered.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to to give me a hickey," I said as I set my hands on her hips.

I felt the vibration of her hum on my where she kissed me. She then gave me a mild bite that stung for a second, but soon felt sensual afterward.

"How was that for a goodnight kiss," she cockily asked.

**_Thanks for reading. Hope you had fun. The next chapter is practically done. All I have to do is copy it, ad finishing touches, and end the chapter. :P It'll only be a few more pages or so, so... :D_**


	6. Chapter 6

**_Woohoo! I'm back. I didn't know when I'd FINALLY get this chapter out, but I got it done. Sorry for the extra long wait, but I've been busy and my muse decided to disappear for a while. :(_**

**_Enjoy the chapter. I've got more updates coming for new fiction and some for my other dusty fictions. :)_**

When I woke up this morning, I saw the most beautiful sight. The three of them, together on the bed, still peacefully asleep. Of course, Josslyn and Lindsey had taken control of the bed and seemed to have forced Catherine to hang over the edge. Apparently they were pros because they'd only forced her over enough for her not to notice she was slightly upside down, her body twisted from her waist to her neck. I laughed to myself and I got a head start on the day. I wanted to get to San Francisco as quickly as possible, so I packed what I had, which wasn't much thanks to the fire in my apartment, and then I packed Josslyn's things.

I sighed as I zipped up Josslyn's bag and looked around Catherine's house. It felt great to be there, but as I stared out at the rising sun, it dawned on me that she was my superior. We worked together and as far as I was concerned, I wasn't supposed to see the inside of her house...ever! I wasn't like Nick and Warrick. I wasn't a guy, I wasn't as close to her as they were. They'd been friends for a while before I came in and nearly screwed over Warrick, even though he did bring it upon himself. The point was...she and I have kissed on a couple occasions, but...could we really make it work?

I realized about half way through my ramblings that I'd thought all that through before and I'd hit the same brick wall about a dozen times. I started to fall in love with Catherine long before Josslyn came into the picture. Two little girls made all the difference though. I guess they must have put some things in perspective because...as awkward as our situation was, I wanted us to be a family. I knew I sounded over my head, but that was probably only because I had other priorities at the moment.

"So...you have everything," Catherine worriedly asked as she helped put my bag on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm sure I've got all my _two_ belongings," I joked. "You sound nervous. Are you sure you don't want to come?"

"I-I...I don't know. I didn't know Temperance. I just think it's best if Lindsey and I stay behind."

"You do realize you don't have to come to the funeral, right? You could just stay with us in some hotel or something."

"I don't know. Wouldn't people want to see you...talk to you? Then they'd ask about Linds and me and...it'd just be easier to stay here."

I wrapped my arms around her waist.

"No...it wouldn't."

Her eyes fluttered closed because of my soothing voice and she let herself fall into a warm hug with me.

"I know," she nearly whispered against my shoulder.

I gave her a gentle squeeze and let up, but keep her close, my hands on her hips, her hands on my forearms.

"Come with us. It'll be fine. It's not like I cheated on anyone. TK was my adoptive mother...and Josslyn's. I think people will be happy to see you and Lindsey...our support system."

Catherine appeared taken aback after I said that. She smiled, but with much confusion. I felt like I'd let it slip I needed her more than I wanted her. Of course, I wanted her as equally as I needed her, but each for different reasons.

"Are we your support system," she asked as though she had to ensure she wasn't going deaf and misunderstood me.

"Yes," I chuckled.

I reassuringly rubbed her shoulders and pulled her closer as if for another hug. With less than an inch between us, I stared into her bold blue eyes, soft yet strong. I saw her go from tense to completely overwhelmed in a good way...and all through her eyes.

"God, your eyes are amazing," I mindlessly confessed, lost in her expressive glare.

She smiled and looked down at the floor, like a girl with a crush that just told her she looked absolutely stunning.

"Are you blushing," I had to embarrass her.

"Shut up," she laughed as she picked up her head and focused her attention on me.

I felt weightless when her eyes locked with mine again. It felt as though only we existed, like the world only mattered because we _were_ the world. No one else mattered, everything faded except for us. Our feelings had never felt so out in the open and I'd never felt so exposed and yet, we hadn't said anything about love or even talked about us as a couple. We didn't have to, we already knew.

I wished I could've felt that way sooner. Maybe then things wouldn't be so rushed and I wouldn't have turned to the bottle so many times in my past. Maybe I wouldn't have yelled at her during that legendary case about the mail order bride. But then I guess it wouldn't have been legendary.

"Remember how we agreed we wouldn't rush into things," I asked as I kept eye contact, my heart completely on my sleeve.

"Yeah?"

"I changed my mind. I don't want to wait anymore," I admitted before I glued my lips to hers.

I kissed her with all my heart. I didn't plan any of it, only the part about making my feelings for her perfectly clear.

I felt her smile halfway through our kiss and I smiled back. When we broke apart, we held our smiles.

"We should probably tell the girls now," she suggested.

I lightly chuckled.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."

"Just so we're clear, I meant about going to San Francisco," she tried to clarify.

"Yeah, I got that," I grinned. "But...if we aren't going to wait on this relationship...we've got to tell them sooner rather than later."

"I'll make a deal with you," she started as she took my arm in hers and guided me downstairs toward the girls. "We'll tell them after the third date if all goes well."

"Do we get to go out on a date while we're in Frisco?"

"Maybe. Right now, let's try to focus on the girls."

"Right," I reminded myself aloud.

When we reached the living room, Catherine and I saw Josslyn and Lindsey playing Connect Four on the coffee table and talking about school. Lindsey told Josslyn about all the extra work she'd get in fifth grade and that she already missed nap time like she had in kindergarten.

"The teachers are nicer in third grade, but they start to get mean in fourth," Lindsey warned. "Except Ms. Thompson. She's really nice. She loves me."

Josslyn smiled.

"Do you think if I get her, you can make her like me too?"

"Oh, I know she'll love you! I can tell because you and me get along and that means that we're like the same person."

Josslyn's smile widened.

"Cool."

"Girls," Catherine announced.

The two of them snapped their heads in our direction, giving us their full attention.

"Sara and I have decided...we're going to San Francisco with you."

Lindsey beamed while Josslyn gave a weak smile.

"You don't mind, right Joss," I asked out of fear she hated the idea. "I'd thought it'd be nice to have someone you're age around."

"It's fine. Are we going to do everything together though?"

"We don't have to," I looked between a worried Catherine and a curious Josslyn.

"Good, because there's something I want to do with you. Something TK did with us."

"Oh, yeah, that's fine," I said with relief.

I looked back at Catherine and thankfully saw her relax. She understood Josslyn and I needed to do certain things alone, especially now.

"Lindsey, can you get a few things ready. We're going to be there for a week, so-"

"Pack enough clothes to last a week and don't forget hygiene products. Got it," she said as she raced up to her room.

Catherine smiled at the fact Lindsey already knew the routine.

"Go out of town often," I teased with a smirk.

"I just let her know what's going on a lot," she defended with narrowed eyes, but continued to wear a hint of a smile.

We all climbed into the car twenty minutes later and set out for the Golden State of California. Catherine rode shotgun while I drove and the girls got together in the back to talk non-stop about what to expect when living in Vegas.

"How about a little music," I suggested to Catherine as I caught her sigh and stare out the window as though she wished she were somewhere else.

"That'd be nice...thanks," she turned her head and smiled at me.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just feel a headache coming on."

"I've got some aspirin if you want."

She smiled again.

"Yes, please!"

Now it was my turn to smile.

I reached under the center console and pulled out a bottle of pills. I handed them to her, only taking my eyes off the road for a split second and hurriedly returned focus to the signs and speed limit.

"Joss..." I called to her, looking through the rear view mirror.

She met my gaze with owl eyes, waiting for further instruction or explanation.

"Do you have any requests for music?"

"Um, can you play that mixed CD I saw when you picked me up?"

"Which one?"

"The one with red writing on it."

"Oh...uh, sure."

If I started to hyperventilate, I couldn't tell because I paid too much attention to the loud thumping in my chest. I guess that was my heart beating rapidly to the thought of what was on the CD and the fact that I had Catherine, the object of the CD, sitting less than three feet away.

"Sara, you okay," I heard Catherine ask as she squeezed my shoulder.

I cleared my throat and shook my head to rid myself of the terror.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I forced a smile and took a deep breath to calm myself. I reached above me and felt around for the right CD, the one closest to the radio because I played it so many times on my darkest days to remind me it's not all bad.

I kept my CD collection for the car in a cute little holder that fit nicely on the visor and helped keep my car looking sporty chic.

I rushed to get the disk in the player before Catherine could read the homemade, red Sharpie label with a title I appropriately designed after a Maroon 5 album.

"_Songs About Catherine_, huh," Catherine grinned at me.

"Oh, you saw that?"

She giggled and nodded.

"Can't wait to hear what you think about me."

Oh boy.

The first song started with an acoustic guitar and I knew I was doomed from the start. I looked back through the rear view mirror and saw Josslyn smiling. She read the title. What a sneaky little thing.

I sat through over an hour of music that reflected my feelings toward Catherine and the way I saw her whenever I saw her. It was the longest hour and fifteen minutes of my life to say the least, but Catherine and Josslyn seemed to find it entertaining and way too short.

It took me a few seconds for the hand in mind on the center console to register, but when I realized someone was in fact touching me, I turned to Catherine.

"I loved it," she spoke quietly and smiled. "You're such a romantic."

I blushed and looked back at the road. She squeezed my hand and I felt a burst of energy surge through me unlike anything I'd felt before. I wanted that moment to last forever because I knew in an instant, I could get thrown back to square one. I didn't want to end up alone, wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing, surrounded by tons of empty beer bottles and not a problem solved.

As if she could read my thoughts, Catherine made circles with the pad of her thumb on my hand and I felt calm once again. She seemed to know exactly what I needed to feel secure, even when I clearly didn't.

Xx _Songs About Catherine _xX

Within the ten hours it took to reach sunny San Francisco, Josslyn and Lindsey had nearly eaten Catherine and I out of house and home, fell asleep for a couple hours, woke up to request the latest pop music that drove Catherine and I crazy because it wasn't music, it was only words randomly strung together made to sound interesting and cute. Of course, it did me to want to dance. I guess that's the whole point to the pop genre, but they should worry more about the message the lyrics send to everyone that listens.

But that was a whole other subject. The subject I wanted to focus on was the absolutely optimistic Catherine Willows. Even in this time of depression and darkness, she knew how to lift Josslyn's and my spirit. Lindsey took after her mother, of course, and really helped Josslyn to socialize more. She seemed happier than I could ever remember being, even with TK's help. I never had too many friends my age and that made everything difficult. Thankfully, I didn't see that happening with Josslyn. Thank god for miracles like the Willows girls.

"So...what do we do first? Hotel or food," Catherine asked.

"I'm hungry," Lindsey whined from the back seat as she rubbed her stomach and scrunched her eyebrows in discomfort.

"I guess that answers that question," I smiled.

Catherine laughed and nodded.

"Where do you want to go for food?"

"Somewhere with veggies, please," Josslyn nervously piped up.

"There are plenty of places with veggies, Joss. Don't worry," I smiled at her.

She smiled back.

"I remember. TK used to take me to this one place, but I think it shut down or something. But we used to go there a lot. ...She always got me dessert after, too."

My smile faded as I saw the sorrow breeze right through her and take away all the light from within her little body.

"She's always with you, remember," I tried to comfort her.

Josslyn nodded and stared at her shoes.

"She always said you'd be great," she softly said.

I raised an eyebrow. I didn't know how much TK had said about me, but from what I understood, it was only good things. It made my stomach churn. I should've visited more often.

I sighed. That was one thing I'd probably never shake.

We finally picked a place when Lindsey announced if she didn't get food soon, she'd get crazy and throw a tantrum...or she'd throw up. Catherine and I didn't want to take our chances, especially since Catherine knew Lindsey would in fact throw up if she didn't have enough food in her system.

Josslyn and I ordered similar veggie dishes while Catherine and Lindsey split their entrees and shared an appetizer. We didn't talk for the first five minutes so we could all thoroughly enjoy our food, but once Lindsey was satisfied with her amount of enjoyment, she opened up the table to discussion.

"Do you like to read," she asked me.

"Um, in my off time...sure."

"What kind of books?"

"It depends. Mostly I like to read educational ones, but there are a few romance novels in my collection."

"So it _is_ a fact that all old ladies like romance novels!"

"And why would you say that," I chuckled.

"Because both you and my mom have them."

"Oh, so now we're old," Catherine jumped in to the conversation.

Lindsey bit her lip and cowered in her seat. Josslyn giggled as she watched the interaction between the three of us. Always an observer.

"What's your favorite author," Catherine asked me, pushing the romance novel topic.

"Uh, Nora Roberts?"

"Oh, come on. Everybody knows her. You can't honestly tell me you really do appreciate her books that much."

"Maybe I do," I shrugged.

"Then you're lying. She's great, don't get me wrong, but she's hardly a favorite. What kind of romance novels do you have at home?"

"Um, ones we shouldn't discuss in front of the girls," I blushed and tried to get Catherine to change the subject.

"Exactly what I thought," she grinned as she leaned over the table. "Then Nora Roberts can't be your favorite. There's no way she compares to the others, not to offend her or anything."

"Okay, so you've got a point. But I really don't want to talk about this."

"Fine. Answer me this question and I'll drop the subject...for now. Who are reading in that genre right now?"

I squirmed under her gaze.

"Lori Leigh."

She grinned, satisfied with my answer, but something told me she didn't want to stop there.

"What book?"

"You said _one_ question. I'm not answering."

"Okay, so make an exception. Answer the question I just asked and I'll leave you alone."

"That's what you said the last time."

She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"You can be so stubborn sometimes," she teased.

Josslyn and Lindsey looked at each other and smiled.

"We should really talk about my stubborn tendencies some other time," I tried to discretely point to the girls with my eyes.

"Ah," Catherine mouthed and pulled away from the table. She smiled at me when she sat back and I saw a glimmer in her eyes that read we might actually make it together.

We settled into a room with two queen sized beds and Lindsey and Josslyn jumped at the chance to curl up under the covers together and watch some television. They didn't have the energy to explore the hotel pool after their long trip and frankly, Catherine and I didn't have it in us to supervise.

"Pick a movie," Catherine commanded in a relaxed tone. She didn't seem to care what the cost of the movie would be, just that they picked one and were happy.

"I'll for it," she told me.

"Oh, no. It's okay. I can pay half."

"No, you need to put your money toward the..." she looked over at Josslyn who was playfully fighting over the remote with Lindsey. "Arrangements."

"Actually, TK took care of some of that. It's not as much as you think."

"Still. ...Sara, you need to put your money into something that's actually worth a damn. I'll handle the entertainment expenses. Deal?"

I sighed and accepted the fact that I'd never win with her.

"Deal."

"What about this one," Lindsey excitedly asked.

"Yeah, so cute! I wanna see it too," Josslyn mirrored Lindsey's excitement.

Catherine and I looked at each other then looked at the screen to see which movie the girls wanted.

"A romantic comedy. How appropriate," Catherine smiled and shook her head with a small laugh.

I smiled back at her, but she was too busy getting comfortable under the sheets to notice. I didn't mind though. I didn't want her to know I enjoyed watching her move instead of her reciprocate a gesture. That seemed to weird to mention.

She rolled onto her side to face me.

"We can cuddle once the girls are asleep," she whispered with a smile.

I laughed.

"And what happens when they wake up before us and see we're all over each other?"

"Please, we can come up with something. We can make them believe anything. We're older."

"Try getting something as big as us being together past Josslyn. She already knows I like you."

"Really," she raised her eyebrows, both amused and shocked. "I give her props. It took me a while to see it...like all the time that we've known each other until the other night."

I lightly chuckled.

Lindsey shushed me as the movie started, but Catherine and I were oblivious as we did nothing but stare into each others eyes.

"I can't wait for our first date," Catherine whispered in my ear.

My eyes fluttered closed at the feel of her breath on my skin.

I gulped and tried to get the words in my head to fall from my lips.

"I can't wait either."

I didn't know what happened after that, but I remember seeing Catherine nuzzle into my side, her head on my chest, right before I faded into a peaceful sleep.

**_Thanks for reading. I don't want to say 'I'd like X amount of reviews and I'll get a new chapter in X amount of hours', so I'm gonna say...Please give me reviews. I could use the boost. And I hope to have updates coming out on a semi-regular basis for you readers. :)_**


	7. Chapter 7

**_Ah, finally, a new chapter for this story. :) Don't worry. I haven't forgotten about it, I've just been busy. Anyway, here it is. Enjoy_**

******...**

I heard whispers, but I couldn't make out any words. I didn't want to wake up. I knew Catherine and I had fallen asleep together and I could feel her intertwined with me under the sheets. She felt too good to give up and I knew I wouldn't get up for at least another ten minutes. The whispering continued, but I fell back in to a heavy sleep, one in which I could still hear the small sounds of my surroundings play on in my dream, but couldn't tell whether or not the content was true.

"Look," one of the voices whispered. "They look so cute, don't they?"

"Do you think they're dating," the other voice whispered.

"I don't know, but if they are...that could make us sisters!"

"Do you think they'll pay more attention to each other than to us?"

"Don't be silly, Josslyn. My mom's different with her. She gets reckless with all the guys she hangs out with, but Sara...she changes my mom. It's weird. I don't know how to explain it, but I like my mom better when she's with her."

"Happier?"

"Yeah! That. She's happier."

"They do seem right for each other. I guess...it wouldn't be too bad if they were dating."

"Like I said...we could be sisters."

"Technically."

"Whatever."

The rest of the whispering became incoherent as Catherine started to move and I knew I couldn't keep my eyes shut much longer.

Rustling sounds reached my ears and made a crescendo as I became more alert, more awake. Catherine stretched out her leg and her knee slid between my thighs. I bit my lip, my eyes popped open, and I wouldn't go back to sleep for a long time.

"Mm," she moaned as she stretched her arms and arched her back.

I felt her core pressed against my thigh and I stifled a moan of my own. She slowly opened her eyes and smiled the second she saw me. I smiled back and felt right at home sleeping beside her. But, out of need, I looked over her to see if the girls were still asleep on the other bed.

"Morning," she practically purred.

"Morning," I returned my focus to her.

I moved my leg to somewhat subtly give her a hint as to where her knee rested. I found myself only making our already compromising position worse because my leg only tangled us more as it found a spot between her thighs. She bit her lip and placed a hand on my forearm.

"The girls," I managed to blurt out.

Catherine rolled over, as flexible as she is, and looked at the two stirring girls. She cleared her throat and moved her legs, the two of us unwinding.

"Lindsey," she called out.

Lindsey popped up and rubbed her eyes while Josslyn slowly followed her lead. Catherine and I sat up in bed and looked at them.

"Breakfast," I, again, blurted. I seemed as though I had random word Turrets that morning.

"Breakfast," Catherine turned to me and asked with a questioning expression.

"I meant...we should get some breakfast. Is anyone hungry?"

Catherine grinned and reassuringly rubbed my arm.

"Food sounds good," Lindsey said before she whipped her hair around and turned to face Josslyn. "What do you think?"

"Yeah, I'm hungry," she looked at Lindsey and then at me.

"Okay, breakfast it is," Catherine smiled as she slid off the bed.

I followed her example, but came around to the isle between to the beds to take a look at the hotel information on the pamphlets left the nightstand for their guests' convenience. After a few minutes of staring thoughtfully at the information, I saw the tiny paragraph about breakfast and relayed what I read.

"Hey, we missed the continental breakfast downstairs by about an hour."

"Ooh," Catherine frowned and furrowed her brows. "Okay, well, they probably wouldn't have had much for you and Josslyn anyway, right? Where do you want to go?"

"There are a few places, but they're closer to the Bay Area," I said. "It's about all I know in Frisco. That and the night life."

"As in...good bars?"

"Yeah, I actually wanted to visit one in particular later. I know a few people that hang around there."

"I wouldn't mind, but what about the girls," Catherine motioned next to me at Lindsey and Josslyn.

"I've got a friend who also knew TK. Maybe Joss has heard of her." I turned to Josslyn. "Katie? ...Katie Holt?"

"Yeah...she sometimes came to the house when TK was sick. She said you wished there was something you could do like be there with her, but you couldn't get away from work."

I gulped. My heavy, overwhelming guilt crawled to the surface and turned me inside out. I tried to shake the feeling since I had to show strength for Josslyn. She needed a parent, not an emotional wreck.

"So, you wouldn't mind staying with her," I asked.

She shook her head.

"Then we'll go tonight," Catherine offered.

"Sure. Hopefully, she'll be okay with a last minute responsibility."

"What about breakfast," Lindsey interjected.

"Right, we'll take care of that first," Catherine smiled.

Xx San Francisco Dreaming xX

After we finished our food, we headed to Katie's place, about thirty minutes from TK's house. I thought our plan for later in the evening would work out better if I went to talk to her in person. Catherine figured it would also help if she and the girls did something else. Josslyn didn't want to leave my side and she thought Katie wouldn't mind to see her again, especially since she was the only hope Catherine and I had to watch her, but Catherine convinced her otherwise. I worried Josslyn didn't think I was trying to paw her off on someone else so quickly, but I guess I could always worry about that later.

My hands nervously shook as I approached the front door of Katie's cozy, single floor house. I didn't know why I was so intimidated, but I guess it had something to do with the fact that the last time I saw her was TK's 56rd birthday...eight years ago.

I sighed to rid myself of my insecurities and knocked on the front door.

Behind the door, I heard a few rattling objects in the distance and shuffling feet, but of course, my erratically pounding heart took the cake when it came to the loudest noise in my head.

The door swung open and in front of me stood the bombshell of a blonde I remembered growing up with despite my social fears. Little Katie and I were two completely different people than the girls that spent every waking moment afraid of, or pissed at, their haunting pasts. I could see it in her eyes she hadn't entirely forgotten her roots...just as I hadn't forgotten mine.

"Are you here for TK," she flatly asked as she leaned against the door frame and crossed her arms over her chest.

I followed the scar on her face that started from the right side of her nose, crossed over her lips, and ended less than an inch after her bottom lip. I remembered what TK told me about that scar in particular and I remembered never looking at little Katie the same way again. I respected her more, but I also sympathized for her more as well.

"Um, yes. I'm also here for Joss."

"And you want something from me?"

I undetectably bit my lip and picked at my cuticles. She knew just how to make me feel like an abuser, an intruder, everything I'd hate to see in myself.

"One of my friends from Vegas is with me, her and her daughter. I wanted to show her a few places and I figured I'd ask you if you wanted to watch Joss and my friend's daughter, Lindsey."

She shifted legs, straightened up, and slowly rolled her eyes.

"Did you already make plans?"

"No, nothing's official unless you agree to watch the girls."

She sighed and backed away from the door frame, one hand on the door, the rest of her body at an angle to let me pass.

"Let's talk."

I gulped and meekly nodded as I took a shaky first step toward the interior of her house. When I stepped over the threshold, I felt a little more at ease, but I remained tense and overly aware, terrified that I could screw up everything in less than sixty seconds.

I heard the door shut behind me and her footsteps headed toward me as she guided me into the living room. I somehow found a spot on the couch while she took a seat across from me in the love chair. Suddenly, she started talking again and I snapped out of my own thoughts.

"This friend...is she special?"

"To me?"

Katie nodded, her hands latched together in front of her as she leaned over her knees to talk.

"Yes. Technically, tonight will be our first date if you watch the girls."

"I guess it'd be stupid to ask how you've been then."

"Katie-" I wavered. "I-I've had a hard time too."

"With life or with TK's passing?"

"Both."

We locked eyes for a second and I saw in her big green orbs a hint of fragility. I knew she'd be sensitive going in, but I knew I was as torn up about TK as her.

"She raised us, gave us a good home when no one else would. She told me your secrets and you mine about how we ended up with her. You never once came to visit when she was on her death bed...and for what? So you could start some kind of relationship?"

"It's not like that at all, Katie," I stood up and demanded. "I really did have to work. My position at the lab was in jeopardy because of all the days I came in to work late or started arguing with my superiors. I knew she wasn't getting any better and I started to take less care of myself! I almost got fired for it. Thank god my boss had my back or I wouldn't have anything right now. I wouldn't be fit to take care of Josslyn, I'd be alone, nowhere to go, no one to turn to... I care about TK, but she always told me she'd be happy if I was happy."

She hesitated.

"And are you happy?"

"No! ...But I've got a chance at it."

"With this...friend of yours?"

I slowly nodded.

"Joss and I are attending the service for TK, Catherine and her daughter will stay behind in our hotel room. They're our support system right now, the closest thing she and I have to a family now that TK's gone."

She took a deep breath and let it all sink in. When she exhaled, she started back up again.

"I'll watch them."

"Thank you."

"I do have one condition though."

I sighed. I hoped it didn't involve much on my part because frankly, I didn't know how much I could promise.

"And what's that," I softly asked.

"You and I need to catch up at some point while you're here."

I sighed and smiled with relief.

"Deal."

She lightly smiled before she stood and I followed her example.

"When will you be back to drop them off?"

"In a couple hours. I'm shooting for eight or nine. Is that okay?"

"Sure. How long are you planning to stay out?"

"Eleven, maybe later. It really depends on Catherine."

"So...in other words, I should expect to keep the girls here overnight?"

I lightly laughed as she smiled.

"Yeah, that sounds fool proof," I confessed.

"Okay, so I'll see you around eight," she lead me back to the door.

"Yeah, see you then," I smiled and threw my words over my shoulder as I stepped out of the house and headed down the narrow, steep porch steps.

I smiled to myself as I headed back to the SUV, glad to know Katie didn't hate me for my actions. I already blamed myself for leaving TK behind as I selfishly kept to myself in Vegas. I should have been stronger, should have pushed myself to get to her. I shouldn't have cared about my job, I should have cared about the woman that took me under her wing and showed me that not everyone is out to destroy me.

I blew out a sigh as I opened the door to the SUV and hoped in. I finally had a plan that didn't involve remembering. I headed back to Catherine and the girls and tried to clear my mind. I'd have time for closure at the wake, I thought. I didn't need to be so down because I'd get what I thought I was looking for during my time there.

Within ten minutes, I used the key card to get in to the hotel room and Josslyn immediately ran into me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me like she'd never get to hug me again.

"I missed you," she said as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"I was only gone for half an hour," I said as I hugged her back.

"Don't leave. Ever!"

Lindsey sat on the edge of their bed, her body facing the TV, but her sad eyes focused on Josslyn and me. I noticed Catherine, standing next to Lindsey, staring with sympathetic eyes as she ran her hand through Lindsey's hair.

Suddenly, I felt like I'd missed something while I was out and it scared me.

"I'm not going to leave you, okay?"

I let go of Josslyn and squatted to be eye level with her. I gently clutched at her sides for balance and to give her reassurance.

"I would never leave you. I love you and I never want you to think I'd ever walk out on you. So guess what, when you get older and you just want me gone...I'll still be here because...you're stuck with me."

She slowly started to smile before she rushed into another hug.

Lindsey jumped off the bed and ran into the bathroom. She locked the door and Catherine took a deep breath.

"Okay, what's going on with her?"

Catherine walked over to me as I loosened my grip on Josslyn.

"A lot happened after you went to see Katie," she stated as she gave Josslyn's back a quick, comforting rub before Josslyn made her way to the bed to watch TV.

"Are you going to fill me in?"

"Yeah. But...maybe tonight isn't the best time to go out."

I took a deep breath and attempted to keep my sadness and building frustration from hurting anyone except myself.

"Okay. I just want to know how everyone's doing."

"Joss, honey," she said as she turned to face her. "Sara and I are going to step outside for a minute. We'll be right outside the door, we're not going far, okay?"

She looked from Catherine to me and, after a beat, nodded.

"Lindsey? Did you hear that," she called through the bathroom door.

"I don't care!"

She pursed her lips as if a way of fighting back the pain it caused her to see Lindsey act that way.

Catherine, nonetheless, ushered me to the door and grabbed one of the two room keys we had off the table on our way out. After the door shut, she slowly tried to muster up the words she thought would make the situation easier on me.

"When you left...Josslyn started freaking out. She said she had a feeling you weren't coming back for her so Lindsey tried to calm her down, telling her you just went to find a sitter. Josslyn started screaming about how she didn't want a sitter and that she didn't want a sister if it meant she had to give up so you could be with me."

"What? Where did any of that come from?"

"I guess when we were sleeping, they were talking about us getting together. But...Lindsey told her she didn't mean that. Of course, Josslyn said she did mean it and said a few other hurtful things."

"Like what? She hurt Lindsey's feelings?"

"She mostly attacked me. I don't know where she learned words like 'whore' and 'stealing bitch', but she used them toward me and it seemed to upset Lindsey. She started to yell at Josslyn, trying to defend me, and I told her it was okay. She started yelling at me that it wasn't and then Josslyn cried saying that she wanted you back so she didn't have to be around us anymore."

I shook my head and ground my jaw, upset that Josslyn would behave that way. I understood that she didn't want to be abandoned again, but I couldn't understand why she felt Catherine and Lindsey were enemies.

I took the key from Catherine's hand and went back into the room.

"Sara, don't make this worse," Catherine begged as she was hot on my heels.

"Joss...did you saw nasty things to Catherine and Lindsey while I was gone?"

"I just want it to be the two of us," she whined.

"I know you think it'd be better that way, but they're trying to help. They're not the bad guys and I won't put up with you're attitude toward them. Turn off the TV. You're going to experience your time out with me in charge."

"But that's not fair!"

"It's not fair that you said those mean and hurtful things. You need to apologize...to both Lindsey and Catherine."

"No! I meant what I said. They're ruining everything!"

"That's it. Until you apologize, you get to sit in the corner and face the wall. And don't think about saying another word unless you're saying 'I'm sorry'."

I walked over to her and helped her to the corner. I knew Catherine didn't approve of the punishment because Josslyn lost someone close to her and she barely knew her and Lindsey, but I wasn't going to let Josslyn hurt people the way I knew most of them had hurt her. I refused to let her turn into the kind of person we'd both grown up hating and fearing.

She started crying.

"Sara!"

"What did I tell you? No talking unless you're apologizing. Are you going to apologize?"

"No," she yelled between sobs.

"Then sit here and be quiet."

"Maybe you should go easy on her," Catherine softly said from a small distance. "I'm all for punishment when it's rightfully deserved, but...she's going through a rough time."

"That doesn't give her an excuse to behave that way, Catherine, and you know it. This is the best thing for her. Otherwise, she'll be a brat that thinks they can say anything to anyone and not care about how they're affecting those people."

She nodded and spoke again after a beat.

"You're right."

"Thank you."

I went to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Lindsey, sweetie? Why don't you come out. We can go get some ice cream or something."

"I don't want to go with you!"

"Honey, I'm sorry Joss said those things."

"Isn't that how you feel? You think my mom is a whore?"

I furrowed my brows and tried not to sound hurt and devastated.

"No, no, I don't. ...Why would you think that?"

"Everyone does! Why wouldn't you be any different?"

I looked back at Catherine, her jaw dropped and her eyes filled with pain.

"Lindsey..." I turned back to the bathroom door. "I like your mom."

"That's what they all say!"

"No, I really like your mom and I'd never dream of hurting her. She's an amazing woman and I never thought, and I never will think, she's someone I can use and move on."

"Whatever. I don't believe you."

"What's it going to take to prove it to you?"

No response.

"Lindsey?"

"Just leave! I wish we'd never come here!"

She slapped her hand against the door and I knew she needed her space. I slowly turned back to Catherine. She was utterly shocked to have heard her daughter say those things. She obviously didn't know that's how she really felt, and I hadn't either, but I knew what I had to do about it.

"Joss...we're going. You're still in time out though so I want you to stay quiet."

"Wait, where are you going," Catherine asked as she reached out and grabbed my arm.

"I think we're to stay with Katie for a little while."

"No, you don't have to go. Lindsey will get over this, I just need to talk to her."

"And we don't need to be here for that."

"I don't want you to leave."

"I don't want to leave either, but...we both knew things are moving too fast for the girls. This time apart should help them cool off."

"I know, but..." she trailed off and, after another beat, she shook her head. "Never mind. You probably should go. I'll deal with Lindsey and I'll...see you later."

I nodded, knowing they'd probably head back to Vegas while Josslyn and I dealt with the funeral. I needed Catherine to stay, to keep me grounded, but things would never work out if the girls were having problems adjusting. She and I both knew the girls had to come first, but, as much as I wanted to be there for Josslyn, it was really a shame. I had a chance with Catherine, a chance at happiness that I had to put on hold if not completely pass up for the sake of Lindsey and Josslyn. I had a feeling that was going to happen a lot from then on.

I hugged Catherine as Josslyn came to stand beside me. Catherine dug her nails into me as though she didn't want to let go. I knew that was probably true because I didn't want to give her up. I didn't want to walk out, didn't want things to end this way, but it's what had to be done.

"Bye," I said as I fought back tears.

"Bye," she said as she was less successful at hiding her tears.

We separated and I fought off my desire to start bawling. Everything started to hit me at that moment, TK's death, my chance with Catherine, what my life was going to be from that point on. I couldn't escape my future and I wasn't sure I liked what I saw so far.

I left both room keys in the room and walked out with Josslyn. Since we only had one car, I knew Josslyn and I needed to find a way to get a rental. I hung my head and started down the long path of rock bottom I'd traveled for several years long ago, though the memory was still fresh.

**...**

**_Don't forget to review. I know this probably doesn't mean much, but reviews fuel my desire to continue with the next chapter. :) Sorry, if there were a lot of missed grammatical or spelling errors, but I do hope you liked it. _**


	8. Chapter 8

Las Vegas, Nevada. It was a place I would hate to raise Joss. It was a place I sometimes hated to live in myself. It was a place for lying, cheating, and stealing. I knew all of that because I lied to myself thinking Catherine and I could make the situation work. I cheated myself by taking the easy road and throwing a new people on Joss before she really even knew me and above all, Catherine had stolen my heart.

As I headed in to work for the first time in two weeks, my stomach tied itself in knots and I wanted to throw up. I didn't want to face Catherine, especially not after the way things ended between us. I couldn't stand to see her at the lab, knowing I couldn't touch her, love her.

I had Joss next to me as I walked down the hall toward the break room. I needed somewhere to keep her while I worked and I couldn't hire a babysitter let alone find anyone I trusted. So I continued toward the meeting ground for grave shift CSI's like me with Joss at my side. I walked in to see that even Grissom was already in the room. I was late on my first night back and not just late, but later than Grissom late. Not a good start.

"Sara," Grissom said as he watched me step up to the table. "What..."

He trailed off when he saw Joss staring down at the floor.

"What is this," he started again. "Do you think this is a daycare?"

"I don't know anyone that can watch her in Vegas," I admitted.

I looked over at Catherine to see she wanted to avoid eye contact with me. I didn't know what hurt more, her and I locking eyes with nothing but pain in them or her not looking at me at all.

"Well, you can't leave her here while you're out in the field. Tonight's a busy night," he informed me while Catherine and the guys kept their mouths shut.

"I'm sure you've got plenty of paperwork I can help with," I said, even though I hated paperwork.

He paused as he considered it.

"Okay. As long as you don't leave the lab and Ecklie doesn't find out she's here...I guess that would be okay."

He looked at me as if he could see inside me, the struggle and inner turmoil. He knew me as though for years I've worn my heart on my sleeve. All that time we'd spent together in San Francisco seemed to do me some good when it came to Gil Grissom. He understood me in ways I never thought he could sometimes, like he understood me now. He understood I didn't have anyone, not a single soul, that I could count on in Vegas except for the team, which, in my case, didn't help when it came to Joss.

"Catherine, you and Warrick take the four nineteen at the MGM," Grissom started to hand out assignments. "Nick, Greg, you're with me on the four nineteen off Fremont Street."

Everyone stood up and made their way to the door behind me. They guys all looked at me on their way out, sympathy on their face even though they didn't know the entire story. I wondered if Catherine had confided in any of them. When that thought crossed my mind, Catherine brushed past me without a single glance.

I wanted to cry, needed to actually, but with Joss around I couldn't waver. I needed to push her. I needed to keep her from being a brat the rest of her life. I needed to parent her and not baby her. Of course, that didn't mean I'd get the fairytale ending with Catherine, but I at least needed to set Joss straight.

"Okay," I said to her as I turned toward the door. "We're going to my boss' office and I don't want to touch anything. He's got a lot of stuff in there and if you break anything, there's going to be chaos."

"Okay, but what can I do? Can I help?"

"That would be great, but there's nothing you can do that can help with my job. I brought some puzzles, coloring books, and a few novels to keep you entertained."

I took the bag with all of the things I brought for her off my shoulder and handed it to her.

"Do you think you can behave for me tonight?"

"Do I have to do this every night?"

"I don't know yet, but you have to do this for tonight so make it easier on me."

"Fine," she sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.

I walked her to Grissom's bug-filled office and saw the large stack of paperwork that would easily fall over if someone breathed too hard on it. Leave it to me to find the perfect time to get stuck with Grissom's backed up paperwork. I really wanted to kill myself at that point.

For two hours, I pushed through a quarter of the paperwork, but before I could start on the next file of papers, Joss started to beg for food.

"Can we eat now? I'm hungry," she whined.

"Yes, just stay here and I'll get us something," I said as I rubbed my eyes and headed out to the hall.

I went straight to the fridge in the break room for my eggplant sandwich, hummus, and the two fruit cups. I grabbed my Pita chips from one of the cupboards above the coffee machine and headed back to the office. I heard a crash come from inside as I closed in on the room and heard Joss immediately following the sound of glass breaking against the floor.

"Oops," she said.

"Joss," I raised my voice as I ran into the room.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. There was something behind the tank and I wanted to see it. It was just a wire, but-"

"Oh, my god. Stevie!"

I saw the tarantula scurry toward the darkest corner of the lab and away from the glass shards. I quickly dropped my food on the counter by the door and rushed after the mangy spider.

As much as I didn't like crawling critters, I knew Stevie was important to Grissom so I had to grab him before he could disappear. Of course, I didn't doubt he'd gone missing before the way Grissom always lets him out of his enclosure, but I wasn't going to be the reason Stevie vanished for months on end this time.

I bent down and stuck my hand out in time to keep Stevie away from the corner and played goalie for a while as I attempted to get Stevie to climb onto my hand. He didn't seem to want to go anywhere but the corner so I gently scooped him up and walked him to the break room. I grabbed a container from the cupboard and eased little Stevie into it.

I fast walked back into Grissom's office with Stevie in medium sized container, the lid in my other hand so I could poke breathing holes in it. Once I was back in the office, I grabbed the letter opener Grissom kept in the top left drawer of his desk. I punched the letter opener into the lid four times and made the holes big enough to allow plenty of oxygen in, but not big enough for Stevie to get his legs caught if he tried to poke through the lid.

I snapped the lid on the container and looked inside to monitor little Stevie. He seemed content, but kind of spooked so I put him back on the shelf he belonged on.

"What did I say about touching things," I asked Joss in my frustration before I went back to the break room a third time and grabbed the crickets I knew Grissom kept in the fridge. I brought the container of crickets back to Stevie and set them next to him. I picked up a few handfuls of grass and sticks that belonged in Stevie's enclosure to put in the container with him and in one fluid movement I'd replaced his environment, crickets and all.

Joss started to pout and took a seat at Grissom's desk.

"That's my boss' pet, Joss. You could have hurt him...or worse! And now I'm going to have to pay for a new enclosure. Are you happy now?"

"No!"

"Don't scream at me."

"I hate it here! I want to be at TK's," she yelled as she stormed out of the office.

"Joss," I called after her.

She started to run and before I knew it, she had disappeared from sight. I headed to the end of the hallway and looked down the next hallway I saw her run down, but I couldn't see her.

"Crap," I muttered as I searched for her. "Joss."

I tried not to be too loud in case Ecklie was in the building, but if I didn't find her soon, it wouldn't matter.

"Mia," I said when I saw the DNA tech at her desk.

"Hey, Sara," she smiled. "What can I do for you?"

"Did you see a little girl run by here?"

"Uh, yeah. I thought I was losing my mind. What? Wait, are you saying she's yours?"

"Not biologically, but she is my responsibility."

"Oh, well, I saw her take off that way," she pointed down the hall in the same direction I'd been headed. "I bet she's going to make a loop around the lab whether she wants to or not."

Mia smiled and looked back down at her work.

"Thanks. Oh, um...she's gonna hate it if you say yes, but...I'm stuck here in the lab until I can find a sitter for her. I don't know anyone here except for the people that work here and I can't afford a sitter in the first place, so...do you think you can watch her a few nights a week?"

"Um...sure. I'll have to hide her from Ecklie, though, right?"

"Yeah," I slowly said as I hoped Joss hadn't already run into him tonight. "Uh, I'll bring her by next shift."

"Okay. I hope you find her."

I smiled.

"Thanks."

I fast-walked down the hallway and looked high and low for Joss, but couldn't find her. I circled back around and headed to Grissom's office. When I got back, Grissom was looking down at Joss as she fidgeted in his chair.

"I believe this is yours," he said.

"I'm sorry about the enclosure. I'll pay for a new one."

"Just make sure she doesn't run off again."

"It's on my to-do list. Oh, and tomorrow night Mia said she'd watch her."

"DNA tech Mia?"

"Yes."

He questioned my decision for a moment as he cocked his eyebrow at my statement. I subtly squirmed under his gaze.

"Okay. You'll work with Catherine and Warrick then."

"Got it."

"Thanks for helping with the paperwork."

"No problem."

He stepped around the broken glass and looked at Stevie in the container.

"I thought you hated spiders? How'd you get him in there?"

"I grabbed him before he could get to the corner," I pointed to the dark corner to Grissom's left.

He looked at the corner then back at me and smiled.

"I wouldn't have seen him for months if he'd reached it. Thanks."

"Your welcome."

"I have to file some things into evidence, but I'll be back to help you with some of this paperwork."

"Okay. No rush."

He smiled as he headed out and I smiled back at him until he walked out of the room. I waited for him to turn the corner and when he did, I faced Joss.

"Pull that stunt one more time and see what happens," I angrily pointed at her as a warning.

She folded her arms across her chest again and got out of Grissom's chair. She walked around to the front of the desk and leaned her backside against it.

"I don't like it here."

"Keep up the bad attitude and you won't be here much longer," I mumbled.

I looked down at her to see her confused expression. I sighed and looked at the glass from the enclosure as it still lay on the tile floor.

"Come on. I'm going to get a dust pan to clean this up."

"Why can't I stay here?"

"Because you won't stay here. Now come on."

She rolled her eyes and followed me out of the office. Ever since we got back to Vegas, she had turned into a grade A brat. I didn't know how much longer I could put up with her new attitude, especially after everything I had to, and _will_ have to, sacrifice for her.

The rest of shift nearly blinded me as I stared for hours at suicide inducing paperwork. The only upside to the night was Grissom splitting the overwhelming stack with me when he had the chance. Together, we managed to power through three fourths of the consuming work and during that time, Joss thankfully kept quiet.

When Joss and I got back to my apartment, I grabbed the extra set of sheets I kept in my closet and laid them out on the couch.

"You're going to sleep in my room until I find a bigger place, okay?"

She nodded and headed into my room.

"Good night," she said after she turned around to shut the door.

"Good night," I said as she closed the door.

The next day marked the first day I pulled "mom duty" in more comfortable environment, one in which I actually lived in. I made breakfast, looked for a nearby public school for Joss, and skimmed through the classified's for a two bedroom apartment in my price range.

I wrote down a list of schools and dragged Joss along with me to the car. I listened to the principals from two of the five schools on my list and didn't want to make any decisions until I learned what each school had to offer. So when I reached the main doors of the third school, I felt completely optimistic.

"Hi," I smiled at the receptionist. "Who can I talk to about her attending school here?"

"That would be the principal. She's in a meeting, but if you take a seat over there," she pointed at a row of seats against the wall. "She'll be with you within the next ten minutes."

"Okay. Thank you."

I turned Joss toward the chairs across the hall and we both sat down in a matter of seconds. I took a deep breath and released it in a sigh as I tried to wait patiently. Then, in a minute's time, I saw a little blonde girl walk past the receptionist with a hall pass.

Lindsey Willows.

When I saw her face, I realized why the name of the school sounded so familiar. I'd heard Catherine mention it on several occasions in the locker room.

"Lindsey," I called.

She turned around and frowned when she saw me.

"Hey," I got up and headed over to her. "I think I need to apologize to you."

"Why? You weren't mean to me."

I crouched down to be eye level with her.

"I know, but... Look, Joss...she's...going through a rough time right now. It's not an excuse, nothing could excuse the way she treated you, but I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Is that why you're here?"

"No. No, I'm trying to get Joss into school."

"Does she have to go here?"

"She doesn't have to, but it's an option."

"I don't want to go to school with her. I don't care if she's not going to be in the same class as me. I don't want to see her."

"I can understand that...but...what if I got her to apologize?"

"Then she'd have to say sorry to my mom, too."

I smiled out of hope.

"I'm working on that."

"You know, I usually don't like it when my mom gets into a new relationship...because she always pays more attention to who she's dating instead of me. With you...she wasn't like that. ...I can't believe you two broke up because of us kids."

I smiled again, this time out of laughter.

"You're the most important thing to your mom. Don't ever forget that. And I really need to focus on Joss so...if you two can't stand to be around each other...then your mom and I need to separate you. The only way we could is if we split up ourselves. It's nobody's fault, Lindsey."

"Then why do I feel like I'm the one that's hurting my mom."

I furrowed my brow.

"What do you mean?"

She hesitated.

"She'll kill me if she finds out I told you, but...she cried every night last week."

I sighed in sorrow.

"I'm sorry this all fell on you, Linds."

She stared down at her feet and fidgeted under my gaze.

"Is someone here to see me," a woman said as she turned away from the receptionist's window.

"Uh, yes. That would be me," I said as I stood up.

The woman smiled.

"Hi, I'm Ms. Harris, the principal."

"Hi," I smiled back.

"If you'll join me in my office we can discuss enrollment," she said as she pointed to the open office across from the receptionist.

"Oh, great."

I looked back at Lindsey and crouched down again.

"You should get to class."

Joss stood up and took a few baby steps toward me.

"I'm glad I ran into," I smiled at Lindsey. "And I promise, one of these days I'm going to fix things between the four of us, okay?"

She nodded.

"Okay," I smiled and hugged her.

"Talk to my mom. She might be avoiding you right now, but that's only because she thinks it'll hurt less."

We let go of each other.

"Talk to her. Force a conversation if you have to, but don't let her walk all over you. She needs you to get aggressive."

I smiled at the fact Lindsey, a ten year girl, was giving me advice on how to handle a particularly sticky situation with her mom. It was the icing on the cake for the day and I was even happier I saw Lindsey at all.

I watched her turn and walk away before I faced Ms. Harris and Joss. Ms. Harris smiled at me and Joss seemed sadder than she had at TK's funeral.

The three of us walked into Ms. Harris' office and she closed the door. I knew things still needed to be patched up with Lindsey and Joss, and maybe that's why I felt the way I did, but I really wanted things to work out with this school. I didn't want Joss to go anywhere else but here. It felt right. It felt like if I sent her to school here, she'd grow to love Lindsey and not hurt her. She'd learn that I can't be attached to her hip throughout life. She'd learn how to make TK proud.

Yes, I definitely wanted Joss to go to school here.

**...**

**_Thanks for reading. I hope I didn't make too many mistakes. Don't forget to write a review before you click around again. :)_**


End file.
